Grant and I arrived home before midnight Dec. 26. Without the focus of caring for three children and maintaining a busy household, I find my mind is fixated on my grief. I learned when my Dad died many years ago that grief is selfish - you miss what the other person did for you. I am now experiencing life as it is going to be without a daily flood of emails and IMs. I had nightmares all night my first three nights home, but things are getting better. Last night, I dreamed about Karin, but it wasn't a nightmare. She was enjoying the crafty part of heaven. It was like a wonderful, elegant carnival where she saw a magical popup manger scene she could make which she throught Kevin would love. Whatever she is doing, she is loving it! After all, it is heaven!!!
I can talk to friends now without breaking down (usually). Jan. 2nd, I return to the children until Steve feels ready to handle everything on his own.
I am broken and spilled out. Yet my Lord was broken and spilled out for me. He must have some purpose for calling Karin, my shining star, home. Thank heavens, I still have my glowing comet, Greg. Not only do I have him, but twenty-six hours after we lost Karin, he called us (at 2:00 AM no less...) to tell us that Cathi had had two positive pregnancy tests! As Job 1:21 is often paraphrased, The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Video Montage
The funeral home chose from the thousands of photos we gave them (no mean task!) to create a video image of Karin. It runs for 20 minutes and can be seen at http://www.mem.com/movie/MovingMemories.asp?ID=2761956. The video ran continuously at both Visitation times and at the Reception following the funeral.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
New posts
Please note that there are new posts back to the funeral, Dec. 19. After scrolling through the current page, you will have to click on "older posts" to get to all of them.
I leave this weekend to go home for a week. I am being replaced by a cousin from Canada who is coming to spend the week with the kids.
I leave this weekend to go home for a week. I am being replaced by a cousin from Canada who is coming to spend the week with the kids.
Christmas in the Faulkner House
Karin, the ultimate organizer in my shadow, had purchased all the gifts online. Boxes have been accumulating inside the front door for the past few weeks. Cousins, detained by the weather, helped with the wrapping. There were smiles and laughter this morning, but we lacked the traditional movie of the children waiting on the steps (that would have been difficult anyway with two 18 month olds!). Also the joy and sparkle that traditionally accompanies Christmas Day were tarnished.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Kevin with Santa
Kevin decided that he was ready to visit Santa. However, he did not want to wear the Polar Bear sweater his mother had intended. After standing in line for an hour, he was unsure of this venture. Santa and his elves remembered us immediately and again expressed their sorrow. Santa's mother is doing a bit better. We sat on the floor in front of Santa and watched a few children behind us in line have their photos taken, then he reluctantly allowed his photo to be taken with Daddy, but definitely not ON Santa's lap nor would he speak to Santa. For Kevin, the best part of the experience was watching the photos being printed and coming out of the machine.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Santa Visit
Kevin is having a very hard time. He did not want to wear the new polar bear sweater Mommy had bought for him to wear for his Santa picture, and he did not want to visit Santa. He stayed home with Daddy while Grampy, Heather (nanny), and I took the babies to see Santa. They were very good as we waited in line for an hour. One of Kevin's preschool teachers was in line also with her daughter. When it was our turn, Aria cried on Santa's lap, so I had to sit with Santa to make this picture happen. Santa was intrigued with the adopted children and was asking multiple questions and declaring that parents who adopt are the finest people in the world. All of this conversation was happening while the photographer was trying to get a decent photo. Apparently, Heather was saying that each shot was not good enough causing the photographer to become irritated that it was taking so many shots. I finally told Santa that the children's Mommy had passed away a week ago today. He was shocked and dismayed. Tears started rolling down his cheeks. When I told him that she had kidney cancer, he said that his mother was dying of kidney cancer, and he hoped that she would live until he arrived on Christmas as he could not leave town until he had completed his job. Grant said, "We are sorry to put a damper on your day." He replied, "Damper on MY day?" His glasses fogged up and the photographer had to clean them for him. Grant comforted him while the long line waited for Santa to regain his composure.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Heartwarming
About three weeks ago, Karin and Steve's church announced a very special gathering to pray for and sing carols to Karin at their house on December 21 at 6:30 PM. The plan went forward with the alteration of praying for the family. Close to 40 people encircled the house, each holding an unlit candle. The first person ignited their candle and said a prayer, then lit the candle next to them. Each person prayed for the family until the entire circle glowed in candle light. Then they sang a few carols before leaving the yard. It was a beautiful, moving time with holiday overtones.
Newspaper eulogy
A cousin's husband, Tom Rivers, is a journalist. He wrote a piece about Karin for his local paper, The Daily News, Batavia, NY:
Tom Rivers: Praising God in the face of a tragic loss
Thursday, December 18, 2008 12:37 PM EST
Another day, another blog entry from Karin Faulkner about her children. This lady is over-the-top ga-ga about her kids. I find her writings very amusing and sweet.
Karin, 35, is my wife's cousin. She wins the award for the purest heart of any adult I know. Nine years ago my wife and I attended Karin's wedding to a super guy named Steve. Their first dance together, done in ballroom style (they had taken lessons for weeks ahead of time), with them beaming into each other's faces, is something I'll never forget.
Four years ago they adopted a baby boy, Kevin, from Russia. Karin soon started posting daily blog entries about her son. She noted his achievements and shared cute stories about things he said and did -- ending the sentences with multiple exclamation points and smiley faces.
My wife and I got a kick out of the blog, and were happy to see Kevin so enthusiastically embraced by Karin and Steve. They live in North Carolina, where Steve is a computer guy and Karin, a stay-at-home mom who designs and runs Web sites. She's very creative.
This year, the Faulkners adopted two more children: Kien and Aria, both 1 year old, from Vietnam. Karin blogged about the adoption process and the family's excitement over welcoming the new youngsters. Kevin was eager to be a big brother.
Karin added many photos of the expanded family, including Kevin in a T-shirt that boasted he's a big brother to twins. Steve was always smiling in the photos while Karin had at least one kid clinging to her leg, arm or waist.
In early September, Karin wrote a blog entry titled, "Shocking News." Her persistent lower back pain was caused by a malignant fist-sized tumor on her right kidney.
During the next three months, she would give frequent updates about her treatment, surgery and radiation. She often wrote about the friendliness of the doctors and nurses, and she would praise God for the success of a day's treatment.
She often thanked her friends for their encouragement, for sending over meals and helping in so many ways.
I assumed the cancer was just a little blip on her life's journey. Last week, Karin got pneumonia. On Monday, she died. Many of us, those who know this sweet lady, are absolutely devastated.
No one should die so prematurely, and so agonizingly, especially someone who has opened her heart and life to three young children.
I am so sad and angry about the unfairness of the whole thing.
Steve, Karin's husband, has maintained Karin's blog during the past 10 days, writing posts to let her friends and family know how she was doing.
Steve refused to be bitter in a blog entry on Monday, informing everyone that Karin had died. He wrote in her style, with exclamation points, even praising God that her pain was over and she was in a better place. Steve titled the entry, "God is Good."
"Our life together has been a wondrous love story, a great adventure, with many joys and many struggles -- great expectations, great disappointments, and great joys! True life!!! Well lived!!" Steve wrote.
"Though we will miss her greatly here, at this moment I can think only of her and the joy she is being freed to -- perfection and joy -- the world she always tried to make reality here on earth!! :-)"
God bless you, Steve.
Tom Rivers is a general assignment reporter who also writes columns, which are published alternate Thursdays.
Tom Rivers: Praising God in the face of a tragic loss
Thursday, December 18, 2008 12:37 PM EST
Another day, another blog entry from Karin Faulkner about her children. This lady is over-the-top ga-ga about her kids. I find her writings very amusing and sweet.
Karin, 35, is my wife's cousin. She wins the award for the purest heart of any adult I know. Nine years ago my wife and I attended Karin's wedding to a super guy named Steve. Their first dance together, done in ballroom style (they had taken lessons for weeks ahead of time), with them beaming into each other's faces, is something I'll never forget.
Four years ago they adopted a baby boy, Kevin, from Russia. Karin soon started posting daily blog entries about her son. She noted his achievements and shared cute stories about things he said and did -- ending the sentences with multiple exclamation points and smiley faces.
My wife and I got a kick out of the blog, and were happy to see Kevin so enthusiastically embraced by Karin and Steve. They live in North Carolina, where Steve is a computer guy and Karin, a stay-at-home mom who designs and runs Web sites. She's very creative.
This year, the Faulkners adopted two more children: Kien and Aria, both 1 year old, from Vietnam. Karin blogged about the adoption process and the family's excitement over welcoming the new youngsters. Kevin was eager to be a big brother.
Karin added many photos of the expanded family, including Kevin in a T-shirt that boasted he's a big brother to twins. Steve was always smiling in the photos while Karin had at least one kid clinging to her leg, arm or waist.
In early September, Karin wrote a blog entry titled, "Shocking News." Her persistent lower back pain was caused by a malignant fist-sized tumor on her right kidney.
During the next three months, she would give frequent updates about her treatment, surgery and radiation. She often wrote about the friendliness of the doctors and nurses, and she would praise God for the success of a day's treatment.
She often thanked her friends for their encouragement, for sending over meals and helping in so many ways.
I assumed the cancer was just a little blip on her life's journey. Last week, Karin got pneumonia. On Monday, she died. Many of us, those who know this sweet lady, are absolutely devastated.
No one should die so prematurely, and so agonizingly, especially someone who has opened her heart and life to three young children.
I am so sad and angry about the unfairness of the whole thing.
Steve, Karin's husband, has maintained Karin's blog during the past 10 days, writing posts to let her friends and family know how she was doing.
Steve refused to be bitter in a blog entry on Monday, informing everyone that Karin had died. He wrote in her style, with exclamation points, even praising God that her pain was over and she was in a better place. Steve titled the entry, "God is Good."
"Our life together has been a wondrous love story, a great adventure, with many joys and many struggles -- great expectations, great disappointments, and great joys! True life!!! Well lived!!" Steve wrote.
"Though we will miss her greatly here, at this moment I can think only of her and the joy she is being freed to -- perfection and joy -- the world she always tried to make reality here on earth!! :-)"
God bless you, Steve.
Tom Rivers is a general assignment reporter who also writes columns, which are published alternate Thursdays.
Blizzards and backlog
About 30 family members traveled from afar. Due to the extreme weather conditions across the northeastern part of the country and Canada, most were not able to leave on schedule. Saturday, we enjoyed a house full of family. In fact, we think that Karin orchestrated this storm so that everyone was forced to spend more time together. Most were able to get out late Saturday or Sunday. Some were here until Monday and even Tuesday! :)
Friday, December 19, 2008
Karin would have loved this!
Cary police blocked off every intersection between the church and the cemetery. As someone said in their tribute: "Karin loved being the center of attention!" She would have been impressed that she stopped traffic at multiple main intersections in Cary!
Dedication
Karin had planned to have the babies' dedication service in January. After Karin's death, a peculiar idea came to mind: why not have it at the funeral when a large family contingent will be present plus Karin's shell will be physically there as well. Others agreed. These children are her legacy! Our celebration of Karin's life ended with the family present promising to assist in raising these children to love the Lord, and the church members attending agreeing to do their part in teaching these children to follow Jesus.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Accommodating Travelers
Many friends and relatives are traveling from across the continent to be present for our celebration of Karin. Local friends want to help in various ways including chauffeuring out of town people to and from the airport or around town and providing guest bedrooms in their homes. If anyone could use this assistance, contact the church office at 919-481-5525 or summit@summit.nc.org.
We are deeply touched by the outpouring of love, support, condolences, and the intent to attend from afar. We are very grateful. These are bittersweet days.
We are deeply touched by the outpouring of love, support, condolences, and the intent to attend from afar. We are very grateful. These are bittersweet days.
Thank You!!
The care we have received from our dear friends this past week has been incredible!! And it has been soooo needed. I cannot imagine getting through this week without our friends - especially Pam Slice - the only person I know who's gift of organization comes close to my dear Karin - who coordinated so many other friends to provide support for Heather in caring for the kids during the day as well as night and weekend care so we could be at the hospital. And thanks to all that brought meals - our fridge and freezer are stuffed!! :-) And thank you to all who joined our vigil, at the hospital and online!! Your support has been immense beyond words! Seeing and remembering all those that Karin touched has been a great source of comfort to me in some way I cannot explain. Certainly it does nothing to decrease the great loss in my life, but I am so proud of her, and proud to have supported her in the Love she has given to so many, and proud to be her chosen one and best friend these past 10 years.
Tuesday we talked to a family that had only days notice at the hinting of loosing a mother of 37, and though Karin's passing was shockingly quick in the final week, I am so thankful to have had three months to wrestle with this day coming soon.
Karin was always such a positive person, always choosing to believe the most positive in all situations, that I suspect that many who read this blog faithfully had no idea of the seriousness of her diagnosis/prognosis. The type of Karin's cancer is rarely curred (advanced renal cell carcinoma) and in the very advanced stage of hers, is 'incurable'. There was the potential of slowing down or stopping the cancer spread with treatment, and Karin chose focus on God's possibilities not man's limitations, to the degree that she never wanted to admit how serious it was - not wanting the doubt and negative focus that would result I suppose. She did admit to me (on very rare and brief occasions) that her early death was possible, but we thought it was at least a year away, or at least 6 months.
As this chapter of my life closes, I continue to rejoice in Karin's life and good fortune (to be with God), and I continue to be at peace with the need to boldly set forth on a new adventure. It won't be easy - good adventures never are! But great things will come of it, and that is life - well lived! Glory to God.
Tuesday we talked to a family that had only days notice at the hinting of loosing a mother of 37, and though Karin's passing was shockingly quick in the final week, I am so thankful to have had three months to wrestle with this day coming soon.
Karin was always such a positive person, always choosing to believe the most positive in all situations, that I suspect that many who read this blog faithfully had no idea of the seriousness of her diagnosis/prognosis. The type of Karin's cancer is rarely curred (advanced renal cell carcinoma) and in the very advanced stage of hers, is 'incurable'. There was the potential of slowing down or stopping the cancer spread with treatment, and Karin chose focus on God's possibilities not man's limitations, to the degree that she never wanted to admit how serious it was - not wanting the doubt and negative focus that would result I suppose. She did admit to me (on very rare and brief occasions) that her early death was possible, but we thought it was at least a year away, or at least 6 months.
As this chapter of my life closes, I continue to rejoice in Karin's life and good fortune (to be with God), and I continue to be at peace with the need to boldly set forth on a new adventure. It won't be easy - good adventures never are! But great things will come of it, and that is life - well lived! Glory to God.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Kevin
Kevin's health was better today - still a nasty cough but none of the pain and weakness he scared me with last night.
I've heard him *proudly* tell a few people that his mommy is an angel in heaven now, and after a slight pause tag on sadly "but we miss her". It is so wonderful that he is holding on to this positive image!! That mommy went to heaven is the first thing I did tell him yesterday morning, but I did not really do anything else to accentuate the positive (as he was bawling, I was focusing on validating his feelings of loss).
I know Heather had some part in helping him build this positive image of mommy now!! Thank you Heather!!! Heather also reminded me of this picture on our wall of a beautiful angel playing a harp, so I pointed it out to Kevin later and he said "that's what my mommy is like now!!!" :-) It was awesome! It is a great remembrance of a beautiful woman. Kevin has told his mommy a lot in the last year how beautiful she is :-)
Heather is our new nanny. Karin only got to meet her once, for 2 hours, but Karin was so looking forward to spending more time with her, sensing a certain kindred spirit. Heather walked into a tough situation, starting last week on Karin's first full day in ICU, and she has been a great blessing in the midst of this challenging week!
I've heard him *proudly* tell a few people that his mommy is an angel in heaven now, and after a slight pause tag on sadly "but we miss her". It is so wonderful that he is holding on to this positive image!! That mommy went to heaven is the first thing I did tell him yesterday morning, but I did not really do anything else to accentuate the positive (as he was bawling, I was focusing on validating his feelings of loss).
I know Heather had some part in helping him build this positive image of mommy now!! Thank you Heather!!! Heather also reminded me of this picture on our wall of a beautiful angel playing a harp, so I pointed it out to Kevin later and he said "that's what my mommy is like now!!!" :-) It was awesome! It is a great remembrance of a beautiful woman. Kevin has told his mommy a lot in the last year how beautiful she is :-)
Heather is our new nanny. Karin only got to meet her once, for 2 hours, but Karin was so looking forward to spending more time with her, sensing a certain kindred spirit. Heather walked into a tough situation, starting last week on Karin's first full day in ICU, and she has been a great blessing in the midst of this challenging week!
Back to the ER!
At 3:30am Kevin (who had been sleeping in my bed) woke me crying and coughing, saying his tummy hurt and saying he was so cold. He did not look well and a quick feel of his forehead showed he had a fever. In the past I would have given him some tylenol and sent him back to bed, but these were the same complaints Karin had last week, and just 27 hours later her system had already suffered so much damage that her organs were failing despite all the docs could do! I do not want to loose my son too!!!
I woke grandma and grandpa who were trying to get the first good night of sleep in 5 days, and grampy and I took Kevin to the ER.
When I explained about my wife they understood my concern.
Xrays showed that Kevin has small spots of likely pneumonia, but no appearance of the deadly septic shock that killed Karin - his blood oxygen level is normal. They prescribed an antibiotic for the pneumonia. We were home at 6am, but I could not sleep- just lay in bed and look at Kevin and talk to God.
I have never been one to worry about things such as this, but I'm still worried about Kevin despite the doctors reassurances....
Karin's doctors said she was in good health on Dec 18, but 2 days later it was too late to stop the progression of organ failure. Obviously Karin's immune system was weaker, but our oncologist says it was strong enough especially compared to other cancer patients, and they had never mentioned it to us as a concern, even at our appointment 12 hours before Karin got sick. Also, the hospital never isolated the infection that Karin had, and said it could have been viral, which will not respond to antibiotic. I will probably never feel a hot forehead again without a little bit of panic in my stomach.
I woke grandma and grandpa who were trying to get the first good night of sleep in 5 days, and grampy and I took Kevin to the ER.
When I explained about my wife they understood my concern.
Xrays showed that Kevin has small spots of likely pneumonia, but no appearance of the deadly septic shock that killed Karin - his blood oxygen level is normal. They prescribed an antibiotic for the pneumonia. We were home at 6am, but I could not sleep- just lay in bed and look at Kevin and talk to God.
I have never been one to worry about things such as this, but I'm still worried about Kevin despite the doctors reassurances....
Karin's doctors said she was in good health on Dec 18, but 2 days later it was too late to stop the progression of organ failure. Obviously Karin's immune system was weaker, but our oncologist says it was strong enough especially compared to other cancer patients, and they had never mentioned it to us as a concern, even at our appointment 12 hours before Karin got sick. Also, the hospital never isolated the infection that Karin had, and said it could have been viral, which will not respond to antibiotic. I will probably never feel a hot forehead again without a little bit of panic in my stomach.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Logistics
There will be a viewing Thursday, Dec. 18, from 6:00 to 9:00 PM. Another viewing will be Friday, Dec. 19, from noon to 2:00 PM. The funeral service will begin at 2:00 PM followed by the burial, then refreshments back at the church.
The viewings and the funeral will be at Summit, an Evangelical Covenant Church at 590 Westhigh St., Cary, NC. http://www.redeemercc.org/ (Karin has been the Webmaster, among other things, for several years)
Nearby hotels are --
La Quinta, 191 Crescent Commons, Cary, NC. 919-851-2850 (At La Quinta, family can ask for bereavement rates.)
Hampton Inn, 201 Ashville Ave., Cary, NC 919-859-5559
In lieu of flowers, gifts can be made to Summit Church for the Karin Faulkner Family Fund. Its purpose will be determined by the church in the future.
The viewings and the funeral will be at Summit, an Evangelical Covenant Church at 590 Westhigh St., Cary, NC. http://www.redeemercc.org/ (Karin has been the Webmaster, among other things, for several years)
Nearby hotels are --
La Quinta, 191 Crescent Commons, Cary, NC. 919-851-2850 (At La Quinta, family can ask for bereavement rates.)
Hampton Inn, 201 Ashville Ave., Cary, NC 919-859-5559
In lieu of flowers, gifts can be made to Summit Church for the Karin Faulkner Family Fund. Its purpose will be determined by the church in the future.
Tentative Schedule
Arrangements are being made to honor Karin and all those she has blessed with her life.
Viewing Thursday 6pm-9pm, Friday 12pm-2pm, Furneral Friday 2pm
Viewing Thursday 6pm-9pm, Friday 12pm-2pm, Furneral Friday 2pm
Monday, December 15, 2008
God is Good
God is Good! My Love, my Princess, has gone to her etternal palace!!! :-)
I shed many tears in the last 3 months, but at the moment of her passing I have only joy!
Though we will miss her greatly here, at this moment I can think only of her and the joy she is being freed to - perfection and joy - the world she always tried to make reality here on earth!! :-)
No more pain, only joy. God is Good!! She's finally with Him!!!!!!!!!!!! :-))
After recording every day of our kids lives on blogs, after all the joy and encouragement she has given and received online, it is so very fitting to record the end of her physical life here. :-)
Our life together has been a wondous love story, a great adventure, with many joys and many struggles - great expectations, great disappointments, and great joys! True life!!! Well lived!!
I wish I could go with her now, but I must first finish the work we started together.
The adventure continues - a new chapter begins.
Glory to God.
I shed many tears in the last 3 months, but at the moment of her passing I have only joy!
Though we will miss her greatly here, at this moment I can think only of her and the joy she is being freed to - perfection and joy - the world she always tried to make reality here on earth!! :-)
No more pain, only joy. God is Good!! She's finally with Him!!!!!!!!!!!! :-))
After recording every day of our kids lives on blogs, after all the joy and encouragement she has given and received online, it is so very fitting to record the end of her physical life here. :-)
Our life together has been a wondous love story, a great adventure, with many joys and many struggles - great expectations, great disappointments, and great joys! True life!!! Well lived!!
I wish I could go with her now, but I must first finish the work we started together.
The adventure continues - a new chapter begins.
Glory to God.
The Vigil continues
If Karin's organs were to miraculously recover, her fingers and toes would need an even greater miracle. They are far gone and getting worse. People can recover from and learn to live with such major loss of function, but it is a very hard and painful rehabilitation. Karin would be adding the pain and horror of loosing those to the pain she has already been living with that makes it painful to sit or stand for long, and sometimes even painful to lay in bed - despite high doses of pain killers she was already on, she has needed to shift constantly to stay out of pain. Shifting was difficult due to the sharp pains she has in her left shoulder. Imagine being in pain and immobile because her hands and feet are so painful. And after the pain and horror of loosing her fingers and toes, while enduring the current cancer pain, then she would have increasing cancer pain to endure.
Sorry for the graphic image, but this is what Karin and our family will face if she recovers only partially - if she merely survives.
This would be a living hell - more than I would wish on the worst person live.
Please pray for Karin to suffer no more pain - either due to the miracle of *complete* recovery, or else the mercy and joy of Karin going home to our heavenly Father.
The feable attemps that we as men can make to hold off death have been stopped. It is in God's hands now and I pray only the He is merciful.
Sorry for the graphic image, but this is what Karin and our family will face if she recovers only partially - if she merely survives.
This would be a living hell - more than I would wish on the worst person live.
Please pray for Karin to suffer no more pain - either due to the miracle of *complete* recovery, or else the mercy and joy of Karin going home to our heavenly Father.
The feable attemps that we as men can make to hold off death have been stopped. It is in God's hands now and I pray only the He is merciful.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Miracles are possible
Karin is improving! :-o
The doctors think this might not be her time to go!
Karin, the etternal optimist, would say this with a full page of exclaimation marks!
I, though, am filled with fear and doubt. Yesterday we said goodbye and we had some peace about Karin going to a better place, free of pain forever. Today is much harder. Peace more ellisive.
Saving her hands and feet appears impossible - though Karin would interject that yesterday, even being alive today appeared impossible. I don't know if she can bear amputation... What am I saying??!! I am thinking of a Karin that only her family sees and only I fully see - that is terrified of every shadow, every unknown. She has often seen monsters where I saw only shadow. But without fail her unquenchable faith and hope return, and she becomes blind to all but the good.
A normal optimist would say the glass is half full. I have always said that Karin is one that says the glass is all the way full.
And so they are resuming some of the system supportive drug measures they stopped yesterday, and reducing her sedation to see if she is able to show signs of responsiveness and so that they do not do harm by slowing her breathing.
And our vigil continues - with greater uncertainty and less peace, yet giving God the chance to bring Karin home for some period of time, which I know without doubt is what Karin would choose to believe is possible.
I know you will continue the vigil with us.
The doctors think this might not be her time to go!
Karin, the etternal optimist, would say this with a full page of exclaimation marks!
I, though, am filled with fear and doubt. Yesterday we said goodbye and we had some peace about Karin going to a better place, free of pain forever. Today is much harder. Peace more ellisive.
Saving her hands and feet appears impossible - though Karin would interject that yesterday, even being alive today appeared impossible. I don't know if she can bear amputation... What am I saying??!! I am thinking of a Karin that only her family sees and only I fully see - that is terrified of every shadow, every unknown. She has often seen monsters where I saw only shadow. But without fail her unquenchable faith and hope return, and she becomes blind to all but the good.
A normal optimist would say the glass is half full. I have always said that Karin is one that says the glass is all the way full.
And so they are resuming some of the system supportive drug measures they stopped yesterday, and reducing her sedation to see if she is able to show signs of responsiveness and so that they do not do harm by slowing her breathing.
And our vigil continues - with greater uncertainty and less peace, yet giving God the chance to bring Karin home for some period of time, which I know without doubt is what Karin would choose to believe is possible.
I know you will continue the vigil with us.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Saying Goodbye
Karin's friends have always been such a big part of her life, and sharing her life stories with her family and friends has always been one of her biggest joys. Checking email and the blogs of friends was always the first thing she did every time she woke up, usually several times per night.
And so I am posting now in honor of her and honor of all the many many friends she has made. It has been incredible to read the blog comments - Karin has touched so so many lives, many of whom she never even met, but only communicated with via mailing lists and email. And I don't think those of you who never met her understand how much she valued you. Almost every day for the last 10 years Karin has told me stories about her friends, and so I know so many of you even that I have never met. Many have 'introduced' themselves in blog comments but no intro was needed, people like Amy Hamlin, all you girls from the cottage some of whom I've had the pleasure to meet and some like Lisa that I've seen only on video, Frank and Vikie and Eli in Alaska, other friends from Mary I, Furman, USC, adoption groups for Russia, and Lang Son Vietnam, and so many more who's names are not coming to mind right now. And of course all the friends we have made together in California and North Carolina.
This morning it became clear that Karin would not recover, and her hands and feet were turning deep purple due to her failing heart.
Knowing Karin's love for her friends and their love for her, we let those who came to the ICU to come in and say goodbye. I'm especially happy that Noelle drove in the night before and so is able to be here with us. I am sorry that brother Greg is not able to be here.
She is off life support now, and being kept comfortable. Amazingly she resumed breathing on her own and her vitals are still all strong. From the look of the it would look like she might wake up and stand, but her hands tell a different story as they are deep purple.
We have been singing hymns to her off and on. Noelle and I even sang a song from The Little Mermaid to her - Karin's favorite movie.
And so I am posting now in honor of her and honor of all the many many friends she has made. It has been incredible to read the blog comments - Karin has touched so so many lives, many of whom she never even met, but only communicated with via mailing lists and email. And I don't think those of you who never met her understand how much she valued you. Almost every day for the last 10 years Karin has told me stories about her friends, and so I know so many of you even that I have never met. Many have 'introduced' themselves in blog comments but no intro was needed, people like Amy Hamlin, all you girls from the cottage some of whom I've had the pleasure to meet and some like Lisa that I've seen only on video, Frank and Vikie and Eli in Alaska, other friends from Mary I, Furman, USC, adoption groups for Russia, and Lang Son Vietnam, and so many more who's names are not coming to mind right now. And of course all the friends we have made together in California and North Carolina.
This morning it became clear that Karin would not recover, and her hands and feet were turning deep purple due to her failing heart.
Knowing Karin's love for her friends and their love for her, we let those who came to the ICU to come in and say goodbye. I'm especially happy that Noelle drove in the night before and so is able to be here with us. I am sorry that brother Greg is not able to be here.
She is off life support now, and being kept comfortable. Amazingly she resumed breathing on her own and her vitals are still all strong. From the look of the it would look like she might wake up and stand, but her hands tell a different story as they are deep purple.
We have been singing hymns to her off and on. Noelle and I even sang a song from The Little Mermaid to her - Karin's favorite movie.
Fading Fast
Karin's liver failed, heart and kidney have mostly failed and not recovered. The kidney doctor said in all his years he has never seen such a strong patient fade so rapidly and he cried.
My Love is going home. Grandma and I are at home scrambling to get to the hospital.
My Love is going home. Grandma and I are at home scrambling to get to the hospital.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Still uncertain
Karin's condition is still very critical. Some of the med staff have said they had not expected her to make it through the night, but she did.
There have been some improvements.
They found fluid around her lungs and drained it. Her lungs are working much better - she is still on the ventilator and unconsious, but her blood oxygen improved greatly and they were able to reduce the level of oxygen they need to give her.
Another improvement is that they have been able to reduce and then stop the blood pressure boosting meds and her blood pressure has held on it's own.
Her kidney has not recovered but due to improved condition they have been able to do dialisis to clean the toxins from her blood - that is just finishing now.
That is a lot of good news, but it is not all good.
Her system was very toxic for a long time. They still believe all this was triggered by infection but they have not been able to find any trace of the infection, so they cannot target with a specific antibiotic but must use general antibiotics.
She is having heart failure. Her heart function is at only 15%. They don't know why and this might improve with the toxins removed and blood pressure meds stopped.
The next 12 hours are still a critical wait and see period to see if her body will continue to recover now that the toxins have been removed.
There have been some improvements.
They found fluid around her lungs and drained it. Her lungs are working much better - she is still on the ventilator and unconsious, but her blood oxygen improved greatly and they were able to reduce the level of oxygen they need to give her.
Another improvement is that they have been able to reduce and then stop the blood pressure boosting meds and her blood pressure has held on it's own.
Her kidney has not recovered but due to improved condition they have been able to do dialisis to clean the toxins from her blood - that is just finishing now.
That is a lot of good news, but it is not all good.
Her system was very toxic for a long time. They still believe all this was triggered by infection but they have not been able to find any trace of the infection, so they cannot target with a specific antibiotic but must use general antibiotics.
She is having heart failure. Her heart function is at only 15%. They don't know why and this might improve with the toxins removed and blood pressure meds stopped.
The next 12 hours are still a critical wait and see period to see if her body will continue to recover now that the toxins have been removed.
Uncertain
Karin had no major changes through the night.
Blood tests this morning show some improvements but one of the critical factors is worse.
Not sure if or when they will say something more can or must be tried.
Many people came to pray in the ICU waiting room last night. Thank you!
The thrree of us stayed with her through the night, for a few hours we were all sleep. Nina and I are home now to get the kids breakfast and shower.
Blood tests this morning show some improvements but one of the critical factors is worse.
Not sure if or when they will say something more can or must be tried.
Many people came to pray in the ICU waiting room last night. Thank you!
The thrree of us stayed with her through the night, for a few hours we were all sleep. Nina and I are home now to get the kids breakfast and shower.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Very Critical Condition
Karin's system is struggling under a very serious infection. Her kidney is not functioning and lungs are barely functioning. They have done everything they can safely do right now and she is in critical condition. Her system could fail with the slightest disruption at this point. All they can do now is wait and hope the antibiotics are effective. They estimate she will be in critical condition for at least through the night. If she can hang on till then and the infection get knocked out, then her system should start to revive.
Her mom and I are with Karin, and dad arrives around 8pm.
Pam Slice and our wonderful new nanny are with the kids, and someone will stay the night so we can stay with Karin.
My Love may be going to her etternal home tonight, and I know they are eager to welcome her there, but I pray that she can stay with us longer, because she is the joy of my life and I and the kids will miss her so much for so so many years still to be lived before I could be with her again.
Her mom and I are with Karin, and dad arrives around 8pm.
Pam Slice and our wonderful new nanny are with the kids, and someone will stay the night so we can stay with Karin.
My Love may be going to her etternal home tonight, and I know they are eager to welcome her there, but I pray that she can stay with us longer, because she is the joy of my life and I and the kids will miss her so much for so so many years still to be lived before I could be with her again.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Respirator
Karin's breathing became more difficult, so I signed consent for her to be sedated and put on the respirator.
She is still very pale, but stable and getting the care she needs.
In case anyone is wondering it is best that she have limited visitors - definitely no germs!! And no flowers of fresh fruit (also can bring some germs -I never knew that!)
She is still very pale, but stable and getting the care she needs.
In case anyone is wondering it is best that she have limited visitors - definitely no germs!! And no flowers of fresh fruit (also can bring some germs -I never knew that!)
Pneumonia
Karin has significant pneumonia in one lung. It came on very fast, and her blood pressure droped from something like 170/90 Monday to 70/40 today. She didn't have breathing trouble until she was in the ER. It is a very good thing that we got her in when we did as she was in very serious danger of organ trouble from the low blood pressure. They've got her blood pressure stablized at normal now.
We are told to expect that she will get worse before she gets better. As the infection in her lungs breaks up in will reduce her breathing even more and there is a good chance they will need to put her on life support, maybe for several days, to make sure her lungs keep going and get enough oxygen into her system.
Very serious, but they know how to deal with this and get her well!
We are told to expect that she will get worse before she gets better. As the infection in her lungs breaks up in will reduce her breathing even more and there is a good chance they will need to put her on life support, maybe for several days, to make sure her lungs keep going and get enough oxygen into her system.
Very serious, but they know how to deal with this and get her well!
ICU
Karin is being admitted to an ICU bed, due to very low blood pressure and low oxygen level - I guess that's why she was weak and and blue lips!! They will be giving her multiple antibiotics for possible infection, and drugs to boost her blood pressure.
Going to the ER
Steve just called my nurse practitioner at Duke and described how I've been doing since I was there Monday. And she said I should go to the ER today. :( She said we don't have to drive all the way to Duke if we don't want to, so we're going to our closest hospital instead. She said they'll check me out and possibly admit me. UGH!! I have so much to do this week, and I do NOT want to go to the hospital. :(
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
High Fever
This is Steve. Karin is not well and has a fever of 103 :-(
She had a bad morning, moaning for a couple hours from GI/gas pain and feeling cold, but couldn't keep her eyes open more than a few seconds. She was also very ghostly pale. It was breaking my heart to see her in that shape. I really needed to get to work (can't live without an income) but I couldn't bring myself to leave her like that. Finally at 10:30am she woke enough to sit at her computer and talk. She insisted she was ok and pushed me to work.
I got home at 6:30pm. She was able to wake for a few minutes for a brief description of her day. Grandma says she was awake downstairs long enough to eat some cottage cheese - the most food she's had in a few days, but she seems to have slept most of the day - that's our guess - grandma was busy with kids and Karin was mostly in the bedroom with door closed. Karin's temp was 99 at 6pm. She had no interest in getting up for dinner, then I too was busy with kids until 10pm. Then checked her temp again and it was 103. I got her up and out of bed and to the bathroom. She was unsteady and held me for fear of falling.
She seems very weak. I'll probably call an oncology nurse soon to find out if/when she needs closer attention/treatment.
10:50pm update: she still can't keep her eyes open for more than a few seconds, but her temp is down to 101.
She had a bad morning, moaning for a couple hours from GI/gas pain and feeling cold, but couldn't keep her eyes open more than a few seconds. She was also very ghostly pale. It was breaking my heart to see her in that shape. I really needed to get to work (can't live without an income) but I couldn't bring myself to leave her like that. Finally at 10:30am she woke enough to sit at her computer and talk. She insisted she was ok and pushed me to work.
I got home at 6:30pm. She was able to wake for a few minutes for a brief description of her day. Grandma says she was awake downstairs long enough to eat some cottage cheese - the most food she's had in a few days, but she seems to have slept most of the day - that's our guess - grandma was busy with kids and Karin was mostly in the bedroom with door closed. Karin's temp was 99 at 6pm. She had no interest in getting up for dinner, then I too was busy with kids until 10pm. Then checked her temp again and it was 103. I got her up and out of bed and to the bathroom. She was unsteady and held me for fear of falling.
She seems very weak. I'll probably call an oncology nurse soon to find out if/when she needs closer attention/treatment.
10:50pm update: she still can't keep her eyes open for more than a few seconds, but her temp is down to 101.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Bracelets!! and Discomfort
Today was Aria's 2nd Sunday at church...and for the 2nd week in a row, we ended up being quite late. Between taking 3 kids to church and my slowness in the morning due to discomfort, it's hard to get there on time. But little did I know that we missed something significant this morning!! Before we arrived, an announcement was made about ME!! I knew about these bracelets ahead of time, but I didn't know that today was the day. So it was announced today that a couple hundred bracelets were made with my name on them...and they were passed out at the back door after the service today!!! They are to serve as reminders for people to pray for me!!!! WOW!!!! :) :) Thank you to everyone who is praying and wearing a bracelet reminder!!!! :) :) I feel sooo blessed!!!!! Kevin got a bracelet too, and he was pretty impressed.That reminds me that last week in Children's Church, apparently Kevin's class talked about a story about healing. And if they knew someone who is sick, they were to take a band-aid as a reminder to pray for that person (I think I got the story right??). So as I was talking to a friend after church, Kevin came up behind me and stuck a band-aid on my back!! HA!! :) I later found out the explanation from him and even saw that his teacher had written "Mommy" on the band-aid. :) So Kevin had specifically talked about me in his class. What a sweet boy!! :)
As for my status, my side effects are getting worse and more uncomfortable. Some have gotten pretty severely uncomfortable. But today was my final day of taking one of the trial meds for this cycle. Hooray!!! I now get a week off and hopefully will get back to normal for a bit. :) Yesterday and today, I had to eat ice cream for dinner, because there's nothing else I can tolerate due to my sore mouth. Tomorrow is my next appointment at Duke, which will probably last all day, as usual. And I hope to get some help with some of these brutal side effects!! Fortunately, my pain is pretty much under control though. :) And my walking was really great today!!! :)
Thursday, December 4, 2008
I'm Doing Pretty Well
This may have been my biggest gap between appointments at Duke thus far! I had a pre-scheduled appointment last Monday (the day I was discharged from the hospital). And my next appointment is this coming Monday (exactly 2 weeks apart). Of course, in the meantime, I've been enjoying our precious daughter, our 2 wonderful boys, Thanksgiving, and preparing for Christmas. We've also been focusing a lot this week on finding a nanny to help me during the day while Steve is at work. Right now, my mom is still here - and is still a fabulous help that we could not do without!!! But eventually, she'd probably like to go home. ;)
The great news is that my new pain medicine (which I started in the hospital) is really working!! I was doing really well after coming home from the hospital. The very next day, we went shopping at the mall. I had some things I had wanted to do there for awhile, so I was really happy to be able to do it! And it was fun to go out into the real world and experience things like Christmas decorations. :) I did quite a lot of walking that day. And later in the week, I was in more pain. In fact, I had quite a bit of pain during Thanksgiving dinner and even riding in the car to and from the restaurant. But I dealt with it and enjoyed Thanksgiving nonetheless. Anyway, I wondered if the pain was due to perhaps overdoing it on Tuesday at the mall? And now this week, I'm doing much better! The difference between how I feel when I first wake up in the morning now vs. a couple weeks ago is HUGE. I'm rarely even taking the breakthrough pain medication this week. So I'm really doing great! Praise God!!! :)
The downside... is that I've been having quite a few side effects, which have been unpleasant and uncomfortable. I'm on the second cycle of my trial meds now (with one of the meds, I take it for 2 weeks, then I don't take it for 1 week). So my body had a week to recover from the side effects from before. And then they started up again. Some of them are the same, and fortunately some of them did not reoccur (yet). However, I had some new surprises too. One example of an annoying recurring side effect is a sore mouth. It hurts to eat many things. So this also cuts down on my appetite, which isn't helping the fact that I have already lost 20 lbs this fall. I actually weigh the same as on our wedding day 9.5 years ago, which has never occurred again since then until now! I just hope I don't keep losing weight. (That's not something I ever thought I'd hear myself say!! ha!)
I had a second follow-up appointment with my surgeon today from my kidney surgery in Sept. He didn't have much to say, and once again, he didn't even look at my incision. ha! It is looking pretty great though, and I'm even able to handle looking at it now. ;) So I'm pretty much all healed up, with a lovely long line across my abdomen.
Steve has continued to spend a lot of time researching different treatments and such. He has become quite educated on the subject and is doing all that he can to find treatments and answers for me. He is a WONDERFUL husband!!! Between the nanny research, cancer research, coming home from Vietnam, needing to work, etc....he's been pretty stressed!
Thanks so much for your continued prayers!!! Here are my current prayer requests:
The great news is that my new pain medicine (which I started in the hospital) is really working!! I was doing really well after coming home from the hospital. The very next day, we went shopping at the mall. I had some things I had wanted to do there for awhile, so I was really happy to be able to do it! And it was fun to go out into the real world and experience things like Christmas decorations. :) I did quite a lot of walking that day. And later in the week, I was in more pain. In fact, I had quite a bit of pain during Thanksgiving dinner and even riding in the car to and from the restaurant. But I dealt with it and enjoyed Thanksgiving nonetheless. Anyway, I wondered if the pain was due to perhaps overdoing it on Tuesday at the mall? And now this week, I'm doing much better! The difference between how I feel when I first wake up in the morning now vs. a couple weeks ago is HUGE. I'm rarely even taking the breakthrough pain medication this week. So I'm really doing great! Praise God!!! :)
The downside... is that I've been having quite a few side effects, which have been unpleasant and uncomfortable. I'm on the second cycle of my trial meds now (with one of the meds, I take it for 2 weeks, then I don't take it for 1 week). So my body had a week to recover from the side effects from before. And then they started up again. Some of them are the same, and fortunately some of them did not reoccur (yet). However, I had some new surprises too. One example of an annoying recurring side effect is a sore mouth. It hurts to eat many things. So this also cuts down on my appetite, which isn't helping the fact that I have already lost 20 lbs this fall. I actually weigh the same as on our wedding day 9.5 years ago, which has never occurred again since then until now! I just hope I don't keep losing weight. (That's not something I ever thought I'd hear myself say!! ha!)
I had a second follow-up appointment with my surgeon today from my kidney surgery in Sept. He didn't have much to say, and once again, he didn't even look at my incision. ha! It is looking pretty great though, and I'm even able to handle looking at it now. ;) So I'm pretty much all healed up, with a lovely long line across my abdomen.
Steve has continued to spend a lot of time researching different treatments and such. He has become quite educated on the subject and is doing all that he can to find treatments and answers for me. He is a WONDERFUL husband!!! Between the nanny research, cancer research, coming home from Vietnam, needing to work, etc....he's been pretty stressed!
Thanks so much for your continued prayers!!! Here are my current prayer requests:
- Healing from cancer!!
- That the trial meds will stop the spread of my cancer
- Peace and wisdom for Steve as he researches many topics for our family
- Finding the right nanny for our family
- Freedom from pain and ability to do the physical activities of daily life
- Minimal side effects and discomfort
- Ability to sleep well
- Healing for my left arm, which is fractured
- Praises to God for our beautiful daughter and her great transition, the blessing of our wonderful family (including my mom who has been so great!!), and my decreased pain!!!
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Our First Week with Aria
After coming home from the hospital last Monday, I've been busy spending time with my kiddos and getting to know my new daughter!! :) So I've been slow at posting recently. But now I'm going to share a bunch of fun photos from our first 1.5 weeks with Aria!! :) She is doing great! At the time I came home from the hospital, she still didn't know who I was and didn't want me holding her. (I also can't actually carry her, as she's too heavy for me right now. She's 22 lbs, while Kien is 17 lbs. They are just 4 days apart.) But I can hold her on my lap. :) Anyway, she quickly warmed up to me!! I even got a smile out of her within my first 24 hours back at home. :) She now isn't just attached to Steve and is quickly adjusting to her new home and family. She seems to enjoy her 2 brothers. And Kevin absolutely adores her!! Kien seems to really like her too, as he has often stroked her hair. :) Thanksgiving marked one week after she came home, so here are some pictures from the first 1.5 weeks...
This was shortly after we arrived home from the airport.
Here's the proud big brother with his t-shirt: "I'm the BIG brother of TWINS!" :)
They came to visit me in the hospital on the first weekend, and Aria and I played peek-a-boo. :)
We all ate in the hospital cafeteria on the last night, and Aria kept stealing Kien's fries! ha!
Back in my hospital room, Kevin played peek-a-boo with the babies from behind the door. They both LOVED it!! :) Kevin got huge smiles out of Aria!!!
Aria laughed when Kien tried on her hat in her nursery. :)
We've started seeing her smile more and more! :)
Kien likes rubbing Aria's hair! :) (She's drinking a play baby bottle for a doll.)
Both babies went after my iPhone, and I loved the look of these 2 little faces clamoring up towards my lap to reach the iPhone!! :) We waited a very long time to have these 2 little guys!!!
Here's our pretty little princess, wearing a hair bow for the first time. :) She also loves her pink toy harp with Disney princesses on it (on the floor)! (I play the harp, so this was the perfect toy for my little girl!!)
I felt so great on Tuesday (the day after I was discharged from the hospital), that we went out shopping at the mall!!! My mom and I took all 3 kids, and it went really well!! :) I pushed the twin stroller, as it actually made it easier for me to have something to lean on. Both babies proved to be great shoppers!!
She lets Mommy hold her now!!! YAY!!!! :) :)
Here I am with my 2 babies!! Although Kevin (age 4) claims to be my 3rd baby...despite the fact he previously had claimed to be a big boy. ;)
On Wednesday night, Aria went out to eat at her first restaurant (not including the hospital cafeteria). Both babies sat in high chairs at the end of a booth at Chili's - and they did great!! Aria is an excellent eater!! Unlike Kien. ;) But he seems to be learning from her a little bit.
Here is our family of 5 on Thanksgiving Day at the wonderful restaurant where we had a Thanksgiving buffet dinner!
Grampy came to visit over Thanksgiving and met his new granddaughter! :)
Aria wore her first dress on Thanksgiving - and some fancy new shoes!
They watched us put up the Christmas tree - and we had to put a baby gate around the entire thing to guard off two sets of little hands this year!! ;)
Grandma and Grandpa went out for a date one night, so we had our first dinner as just a family of 5. :)
This was taken this morning at church! Isn't she a doll??? :) She is giving more and more great smiles now!!!! :) She's becoming a very happy little girl!!!! (She colored on Kevin's magnadoodle at church after watching him do it! We were pretty amazed that she immediately knew how to color with it after watching him!)
Here we are in church with Aria, after Kevin and Kien had gone off to class / the nursery. She did great staying in church with us! :)
This week, Aria and Kien both turn 18 months old!! And next week, we celebrate 6 months since Kien's adoption!! :)
This was shortly after we arrived home from the airport.
Here's the proud big brother with his t-shirt: "I'm the BIG brother of TWINS!" :)
They came to visit me in the hospital on the first weekend, and Aria and I played peek-a-boo. :)
We all ate in the hospital cafeteria on the last night, and Aria kept stealing Kien's fries! ha!
Back in my hospital room, Kevin played peek-a-boo with the babies from behind the door. They both LOVED it!! :) Kevin got huge smiles out of Aria!!!
Aria laughed when Kien tried on her hat in her nursery. :)
We've started seeing her smile more and more! :)
Kien likes rubbing Aria's hair! :) (She's drinking a play baby bottle for a doll.)
Both babies went after my iPhone, and I loved the look of these 2 little faces clamoring up towards my lap to reach the iPhone!! :) We waited a very long time to have these 2 little guys!!!
Here's our pretty little princess, wearing a hair bow for the first time. :) She also loves her pink toy harp with Disney princesses on it (on the floor)! (I play the harp, so this was the perfect toy for my little girl!!)
I felt so great on Tuesday (the day after I was discharged from the hospital), that we went out shopping at the mall!!! My mom and I took all 3 kids, and it went really well!! :) I pushed the twin stroller, as it actually made it easier for me to have something to lean on. Both babies proved to be great shoppers!!
She lets Mommy hold her now!!! YAY!!!! :) :)
Here I am with my 2 babies!! Although Kevin (age 4) claims to be my 3rd baby...despite the fact he previously had claimed to be a big boy. ;)
On Wednesday night, Aria went out to eat at her first restaurant (not including the hospital cafeteria). Both babies sat in high chairs at the end of a booth at Chili's - and they did great!! Aria is an excellent eater!! Unlike Kien. ;) But he seems to be learning from her a little bit.
Here is our family of 5 on Thanksgiving Day at the wonderful restaurant where we had a Thanksgiving buffet dinner!
Grampy came to visit over Thanksgiving and met his new granddaughter! :)
Aria wore her first dress on Thanksgiving - and some fancy new shoes!
They watched us put up the Christmas tree - and we had to put a baby gate around the entire thing to guard off two sets of little hands this year!! ;)
Grandma and Grandpa went out for a date one night, so we had our first dinner as just a family of 5. :)
This was taken this morning at church! Isn't she a doll??? :) She is giving more and more great smiles now!!!! :) She's becoming a very happy little girl!!!! (She colored on Kevin's magnadoodle at church after watching him do it! We were pretty amazed that she immediately knew how to color with it after watching him!)
Here we are in church with Aria, after Kevin and Kien had gone off to class / the nursery. She did great staying in church with us! :)This week, Aria and Kien both turn 18 months old!! And next week, we celebrate 6 months since Kien's adoption!! :)
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