Two Appointments Down and No More This Week!

It's Tuesday afternoon, and I'm actually done with appointments for the week! Wow! Things are starting to slow down - at least for now. Something interesting that I was told at my final radiation appointment last week... Some people have emotional difficulty after radiation ends. During radiation, you have a daily appointment where something is happening. People are daily doing something to help you and check in on you. And then it suddenly ends, and some people struggle with the transition. That had never occurred to me before, but I can see how that would be true. So that is one prayer request...for peace during this transition.

Also, I was aware in advance that another factor would probably bother me. And that is that during the first week or so, I had to undergo a lot of tests. Then I had surgery. There was no question in this. I had surgery, I stayed in the hospital, and then I came home to rest and get better. During this time, I was also having daily radiation appointments. There was no question in this either. But now I have finished both of those steps. I am still also recovering from both of those steps, but they are done. So now I am at the next stage, which is not as cut and dry. We started this next stage by meeting with my new oncologist last week, and then yesterday was my 2nd appointment with him. I knew that my appointment was to begin at 10am with a blood test. Then I would meet with the doctor. Ironically, I wasn't so concerned about the blood test (many of you know that this is fairly incredible - ha! Praise God!). But I was quite scared about the appointment. I had no idea what to expect, except that we were going to discuss options, talk about what's happening to me, and use the big scary "C word." So I'm struggling with the transition now in that way as well and would definitely appreciate prayers for wisdom, comfort, peace -- and healing!!! Yesterday's appointment went "well," but it was stressful for me. A lot of people have been applauding my strength and courage, but this was definitely one of those times when I didn't feel like I had a lot of it. Granted, I am fighting, I did attend the appointment, and I did do all that was asked of me. So I suppose those things in themselves did require some courage. ;)

The blood test actually went very well! As usual, I asked the nurse to please not say a word to me about what was happening and to not mention "the B word." She was good at doing both things, so Steve sat on the other side of me, and I looked only at him, as he held my hand and we discussed Kevin's Halloween costume. With each needle encounter, I have asked Steve to talk to me about something else. I have now discovered that it helps me most to discuss something that is truly a discussion requiring thought. So for the past 2 times, we have seriously discussed Kevin's pirate costume. ha! It just helps to immerse myself in a conversation and ignore what is happening. And the blood test ended up being really no big deal!! :) Hooray!!

Then we had to wait a long time for the doctor's appointment. We were forewarned that we will always be waiting a long time to see this doctor, but that we should realize that it is because he is spending all the time necessary with each and every patient -- and will do the same with me. So I think it was about 2 hours later that we saw the doctor. We sat in an exam room waiting, both playing with our new iPhones (fun! these are coming in very handy with all the waiting for appointments! :) ), and with me dozing off periodically. I've been so tired lately. Finally, we met with the doctor, and he is really great. Not only does he seem to be a great doctor, but his personality is great. He has even mentioned God one time at each appointment. Now that my pain is finally under control with proper meds (HOORAY!!!), he wants me to stretch myself more in physical activities (limited, of course), and if they cause pain, I should just take more medicine. But he doesn't think I need to push it with doing stairs a whole lot at this point -- or even sitting in hard wood chairs. ouch.

By the way, my left arm continues to improve! I still can't do much with it, but I can do SOME things!! In particular, I can reach up to my face with that arm. So I can put on my own glasses with 2 hands, I can use 2 hands on a kleenex, I can hold a phone with my left hand so that I can write something down with my right, etc. Hooray!!! Praise God!! It has improved a lot just since Friday! :)

Anyway, we talked a lot about beginning a clinical trial which involves the combination of 2 drugs. One drug is already approved and the other should be by the end of the year. But the trial part involves the combination of the two drugs at once. This is the doctor's recommendation, so I think this is the way we will go. But it sounds scary to do a clinical trial. The side effects don't seem horrible, but they had to talk to me about all the potential side effects - and that was scary. The doctor thinks there is a lot of hope for me with this trial, so that is great (but that doesn't mean I won't get side effects!). Then he brought in a woman who is in charge of the clinical trial, and she spoke with us for a long time. She was very nice as well.

First of all, they want me to recover from surgery for another 2 weeks before beginning the trial. If we were to just proceed with the single "targeted therapy" drug, I could begin in one week. But the doctor thinks it's worth having to put it off for another week in order to achieve the potential added benefit of the clinical trial (and if I start with the single drug next week, I would be ineligible for the trial).

However, my hemoglobin and iron are both still low, and the hemoglobin has to be corrected before I can participate in the trial. So they want to correct that in the next 2 weeks. They didn't seem overly concerned about being able to achieve that, so I hope that it is truly likely that this problem can be solved that quickly. And I would like to ask for prayers for this -- that my hemoglobin level would increase, so I can begin treatments on time! Thank you!!! I've been taking iron pills since leaving the hospital. Also in an effort to boost my hemoglobin levels, they decided to send me to the treatment area for a shot yesterday. Fun.

Another stress factor for me yesterday was simply being there. It's a cancer clinic, and everyone is sick. I would feel uncomfortable being there even if I was well! Also, it's such a large place that at this point, I have to be transported in a wheel chair. It's just too far for me to walk. So I was being wheeled all around a scary cancer clinic, and that was taking a toll on my nerves.

We went to the waiting room for the treatment area and had to wait for our buzzer to go off for almost an hour. In the meantime, I heard other families chatting with each other about their situations. That was unnerving. But also, I felt so blessed to realize how many people are traveling long distances to be there -- and for us, it's local!! Thank you, God!! That is a HUGE blessing!!! I heard one couple saying that they had an 8-hour drive to get home after the treatment was finished.

We were called into the treatment room, and I wasn't prepared for what it was going to be like. It was a large room where lots of people were receiving all sorts of treatments -- either on beds or in comfy chairs with TV's on the ceilings. And after I was led to my chair for my shot, I discovered that I was getting more than just a shot. I was also going to have a 15-minute IV treatment. (My husband also learned that surprises are not in my best interest. ha! He thought he was saving me from anxiety by not filling me in on the IV part ahead of time...but I had a bit of a breakdown instead.) So I had a 15-minute IV treatment to help my bones heal. This actually was something that Steve had read about and asked the doctor about -- which is the only reason I received this treatment! But somehow, I didn't catch what the conversation was about when it happened. But apparently, Steve also didn't know that this would be done via IV until he overheard that later. Regardless, this was a good thing and hopefully will help me! So I had my IV treatment. Then I had the shot. And ironically, the shot was the most miserable item of the day, out of the 3 times I got jabbed! It really hurt!! The nurse even said that the medicine in the shot was very painful. Yup. Ouch.

Finally, we were done and on our way home -- after 7 hours!! A friend had invited Kevin over for a play date and dinner, and we were so late that we weren't even home in time to be there to install the car seat in her car! sigh. But they went for a walk while they waited for us, and Kevin did get to go on his play date. He even asked when he could go back again -- and lucky for him, they have already offered to make this a weekly play date!! Praise God for such great friends!!! :) This will be great for Kevin and for all of us. :)

Then today, we had a post-op appointment with the urologist. It was completely the opposite of yesterday's experience. It was so simple that the urologist wasn't even interested in looking at my incision to check on it! Huh?? The only issue really discussed was that I am numb below the incision, and he said that was to be expected. He said he had to cut a nerve, as it was "in the way." He's an interesting character. ;) ha. But a good surgeon!! I also mentioned that I have barely looked at the incision myself, but that others have called it "beautiful." He said he thinks that it is less than ideal because of what he had to do in order to get the job done. But he did say that because it's on my own body, he doesn't blame me for not wanting to see it. ;) Anyway, that was the end of our appointments for the week!! Amazing!!!!

So many people are praying for us, and I thought it would be helpful to be more specific as to some prayer requests. So here is a list of things that I would be so appreciative if you would pray for:

• Healing!!! For the cancer to be GONE!!!
  
• Peace
• Wisdom in making big decisions, both in terms of health and our family (and agreement between me and Steve in decision making)
  
• Increased hemoglobin to the proper level within 2 weeks, so that I can begin the clinical trial
• Continued improvement in my left arm and regained function
• Diminished pain
• Peace for the boys while Mommy and Daddy are away so much and for me to be able to spend more time with them and start to take care of them myself very soon