Thank you again so much to all who have been bringing us such wonderful meals!!! And to those who signed up on the care calendar!!!! :)
We only set up the calendar through October 1, and it is already full -- with quite a few people still asking how to provide us meals. So at the suggestion of some friends tonight, we extended the calendar through the month of October. I guess reality is that we will still be needing a lot of help for awhile. I won't be able to do much still, and my mom will be quite busy with the boys. So since so many people are eager to help, we're eager to accept!! :) THANK YOU!!!!! So again, if you need the care calendar info, just let me know. The web site is www.carecalendar.org. But I have to send you the login information.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Good News and Bad News
At my radiation appointment today, I found out very good news.... now that all my scanning is complete (after my MRI last night), they now know that I have NO tumors in my brain!!!!! I hadn't even wanted to discuss this possibility previously, but I assumed it was probably clear that this is why they were performing an MRI of my head. So as Steve said, they scanned my brain and found nothing there. (ha ha ha)
Now for the bad news... Steve looked over my bone scans a week ago and saw something himself and contacted the doctor. He decided to not tell me about it until after my MRI, otherwise I would be really scared until we had more answers. So I do agree that he was right. I would have been petrified. But he did tell me this afternoon, and nevertheless, I still did not take it well. Although I do not have any tumors in my brain, I do have a spot on my skull. That still scares me to death. I was quite shocked. Apparently Steve and my parents have known this all week. Had I known, I would have been even more afraid, thinking that there could likely be a brain tumor as well. So it was definitely nicer to find out in the context of already knowing that a brain tumor does not exist. But that still didn't make this "good news" for me. I had a tough time dealing with that piece of info this afternoon.
So anyway, Steve talked to the radiation oncologist on the phone this afternoon. The scans are all in. The overall verdict is that I have the one large tumor in my right kidney. I have 4 tumors (one is fairly large) in my pelvic / hip region on the right side, as well as some bone metastasis (which caused the fracture in my last vertebra). I have a small tumor in my mid-spine, as well as some bone metastasis. Then I have bone metastasis in my left shoulder and a spot of cancer on my skull on the right side.
The main "new" pieces of info here were confirming the spot on my mid-spine, the tumor on my right hip, and the spot on my skull. This didn't make for a happy afternoon. sigh. We don't know what the treatment plan is yet, but there are treatments available - according to Steve and my mom. I guess we will learn more after surgery.
Now for the bad news... Steve looked over my bone scans a week ago and saw something himself and contacted the doctor. He decided to not tell me about it until after my MRI, otherwise I would be really scared until we had more answers. So I do agree that he was right. I would have been petrified. But he did tell me this afternoon, and nevertheless, I still did not take it well. Although I do not have any tumors in my brain, I do have a spot on my skull. That still scares me to death. I was quite shocked. Apparently Steve and my parents have known this all week. Had I known, I would have been even more afraid, thinking that there could likely be a brain tumor as well. So it was definitely nicer to find out in the context of already knowing that a brain tumor does not exist. But that still didn't make this "good news" for me. I had a tough time dealing with that piece of info this afternoon.
So anyway, Steve talked to the radiation oncologist on the phone this afternoon. The scans are all in. The overall verdict is that I have the one large tumor in my right kidney. I have 4 tumors (one is fairly large) in my pelvic / hip region on the right side, as well as some bone metastasis (which caused the fracture in my last vertebra). I have a small tumor in my mid-spine, as well as some bone metastasis. Then I have bone metastasis in my left shoulder and a spot of cancer on my skull on the right side.
The main "new" pieces of info here were confirming the spot on my mid-spine, the tumor on my right hip, and the spot on my skull. This didn't make for a happy afternoon. sigh. We don't know what the treatment plan is yet, but there are treatments available - according to Steve and my mom. I guess we will learn more after surgery.
Overwhelmed by Love and Care
Thank you to all of you!!! The love, care, encouragement, tangible help, and prayers have just been amazing!!!! Even just that first weekend, I couldn't believe all the people who contacted me -- including family members who I don't usually have the privilege of talking to on the phone! :) I've just been stunned by the outpouring of love and concern for me and my family. Thank you.
I have still been keeping track of those who have said that they are praying for me. Because that is the greatest gift of all!!! God can do anything. And I know that He is helping me daily. I do not believe the expression (expression, not verse) that God will not give me more than I can handle -- because first of all, God did not give me cancer. And secondly, this is way more than I can handle -- thus creating my deep need and dependence on God. I also know that He is allowing a situation to be set up where His glory is going to be seen by literally hundreds of people as they watch my story unfold and how God will work and already has been working in my life. Anyway, I now have EIGHT PAGES of names listed in my journal -- names of people or even of whole organizations (church prayer chains, etc.) who are praying for me!!! It is incredible to see. And I imagine that there are even others that I don't know about, based on the surprising emails I receive everyday -- even from people that I do not know personally. By the way, I should add here that I apologize if you have written or called and I have not replied. I am working on a "no guilt" philosophy in life though, which is a new thing for me. ;) ha. And I keep reminding myself that my doctor specifically said that I need to keep my focus on myself right now. So although I truly do feel badly that I have not been able to reply to everyone who has contacted me, I am following the advice that has been given -- and I'm working on the "no guilt" part too. ;) But THANK YOU for everything that each of you has done for me -- including all the wonderful supportive and encouraging messages!!!!!!! They mean sooo much to me!!!! :)
I have even received sweet surprises along the way!! Flowers and plants have arrived to cheer up our home. Cards were overtaking our mantle, so my mom has now climbed up on a chair to line them across the top of the built-in shelving unit in our family room. They are a joy to see! I received a little "courage" angel figurine... I've received "bath bombs" from a friend, which have been used regularly this week (hot baths have helped me so much when I've been in extreme pain -- and yes, the doctor did say this is ok)... a calming CD which I've been listening to when trying to find peace... wonderfully soft fuzzy pink slippers, which Kien enjoys trying to swipe from me when they're not on my feet ;) ... coffee and scones appearing at our door this morning... a friend came to paint my toenails, when I said that I haven't been able to bend over to do it and wanted pretty toes while in the hospital :) ... my MOPS group gave me a "prayer shawl" knitted and prayed over by some ladies at a local church, which was then prayed over by my MOPS group before presenting it to me (and I've carried it to some doctor's appointments both for physical warmth and emotional comfort) ...novels to read... the fabulous portrait session I just blogged about separately... and the list goes on!!!! Two boxes are still waiting by the door that I hope to open this evening. I feel so blessed and loved!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!
Our church already held one prayer session for me one evening at church last week, as well as others who have prayed over me. And now a group is coming over again tonight to pray over me on the night before surgery. That means the world to me!!!! My back pain has been listed in the church bulletin under prayer requests for a couple months....now that has, of course, morphed into a written prayer request for the reason behind the pain I've been having. I've also seen that my name is on the prayer chain in the weekly announcements of my childhood church. :)
The chains of people praying for me have just been amazing... Like a coworker of Steve who emailed him to say that she had received a prayer request via email from a church she used to attend...which was written by the pastor's wife, including a blog...regarding the mother of one of her students. Of course, that was me. :) So a coworker of Steve (who already knew about my cancer, of course) received a prayer request via email regarding me from one of Kien's teachers at Mother's Morning Out (where he has started attending one morning per week).
And a cool story.... A good friend of ours (who is almost like family) went to the hospital last Thursday for an exam. And when she walked into the hospital, she saw me and Steve sitting in chairs talking to a doctor. She emailed me later to tell me this story. She said it looked like I was drinking 2 bottles of lemonade. Yup!! And she didn't want to interrupt us. So she just stopped and stood there, praying for me instead of talking to us. One of the hospital volunteers approached her to ask if she needed help. So she explained to the volunteer that her friend was over there and has cancer and that she was praying for me. So the volunteer asked my name, repeated it, and said that she would pray for me as well. :) What a cool story!! I was very blessed to know that my good friend was standing there praying for me as I sat there prepping for my tests at the hospital that day.
But there's always more!!!! This past Saturday, some of the men at church met together in the morning to pray over Steve!!!! They talked together and gave Steve a chance to be able to talk through things too. And then they prayed for him. I was sooo thrilled about this!!!! And one of the preschool Daddies (who belongs to a different church) even came too to support Steve. And at that prayer session, they asked Steve how they could help in tangible ways... and now this coming weekend, a group of men is coming over to work on our yard!!!!! PRAISE GOD!!!!! Our church family has always been family to us -- but now that is being shown even more than ever!!!! We love all of you!!!!! :) I even decided to mention to them an item that is important to me which has been on Steve's "to do list" for quite some time.... and it's now being accomplished for us!!!! We had purchased a child's table and chairs for Kevin, and it is still in the box unassembled, as this is not at the top of Steve's priority list, obviously. In fact, his priorities are quite simply.... support and take care of me.... and spend lots of time researching and researching to find me the best care possible (mostly concerning now what happens post radiation and surgery). What an amazing husband I have!!!
Incidentally, I haven't directly mentioned yet that Steve is not working at all. He did go back to work last Monday morning (the Monday after we first heard the news). But after sending out an email to his whole team about my condition, his boss came to talk to him and after a good talk, he sent Steve home. They all agree that Steve does not belong at work. Praise God!!!!!!! A VP has even called to talk to Steve -- about me -- not about work. And his boss called this week to check in -- never mentioning work, except to tell Steve that he just got a raise and a generous bonus!!!! :) PRAISE GOD!!!!!!
And of course, I can't skip mentioning my mother.... She has basically taken over my job!! I don't know how we could possibly be making it through without her being here taking care of the boys. I absolutely cannot thank her enough. And of course, the boys LOVE having all this Grandma time!!!! :) And it was fun to hear this morning when Steve said that he and my mom are having trouble coping with handling my job -- two of them having trouble handling the job of one. ;) Wow, that sure makes me feel appreciated!! ha! :) And then my dad too!!! He can't stay full-time, like my mom -- but he was here throughout last week to go to all appointments with us. Now he returned this afternoon to be here for my surgery. And then he will come back again next weekend for my birthday. :)
Then.... we haven't even had to cook since this all began!!! We have had so many wonderful friends offering to bring meals!! And in the first few days, friends just brought meals over without even asking! ha!! :) That was awesome!!! And now food just keeps coming and coming!!! And the meals are all fabulous!!!! Does everyone really eat like this at home each night???? This is what I keep wondering. ;) Or do they just make something extra special when it's being brought for someone else???? ;) ha! I hope we're not the only ones who don't normally eat quite this well! Anyway, .... YUM!!!! And in the middle of typing this post (while sitting out enjoying the BEAUTIFUL weather out on our sunroom... while Kevin is at preschool, Kien is at Mother's Morning Out, and my mom is out having a morning to herself), there was a knock at the door with the delivery of tonight's dinner!! :) It was from a friend from my MOPS group - and she even included a fancy birthday cupcake for me with a candle taped to the top of the box!!!! Sooo sweet!!!! :) :)
When I started writing this post, my intent wasn't really to list out everything that everyone has done. And that is partly because I'm afraid I may have skipped something or someone!! So please don't be offended if I did!!! I just had fun writing and writing and thinking about all the love that has been shown to me. I am just overwhelmed and feel soooo supported, loved, and encouraged!!! THANK YOU for blessing our lives!!!!!!!! :) :)
I have still been keeping track of those who have said that they are praying for me. Because that is the greatest gift of all!!! God can do anything. And I know that He is helping me daily. I do not believe the expression (expression, not verse) that God will not give me more than I can handle -- because first of all, God did not give me cancer. And secondly, this is way more than I can handle -- thus creating my deep need and dependence on God. I also know that He is allowing a situation to be set up where His glory is going to be seen by literally hundreds of people as they watch my story unfold and how God will work and already has been working in my life. Anyway, I now have EIGHT PAGES of names listed in my journal -- names of people or even of whole organizations (church prayer chains, etc.) who are praying for me!!! It is incredible to see. And I imagine that there are even others that I don't know about, based on the surprising emails I receive everyday -- even from people that I do not know personally. By the way, I should add here that I apologize if you have written or called and I have not replied. I am working on a "no guilt" philosophy in life though, which is a new thing for me. ;) ha. And I keep reminding myself that my doctor specifically said that I need to keep my focus on myself right now. So although I truly do feel badly that I have not been able to reply to everyone who has contacted me, I am following the advice that has been given -- and I'm working on the "no guilt" part too. ;) But THANK YOU for everything that each of you has done for me -- including all the wonderful supportive and encouraging messages!!!!!!! They mean sooo much to me!!!! :)
I have even received sweet surprises along the way!! Flowers and plants have arrived to cheer up our home. Cards were overtaking our mantle, so my mom has now climbed up on a chair to line them across the top of the built-in shelving unit in our family room. They are a joy to see! I received a little "courage" angel figurine... I've received "bath bombs" from a friend, which have been used regularly this week (hot baths have helped me so much when I've been in extreme pain -- and yes, the doctor did say this is ok)... a calming CD which I've been listening to when trying to find peace... wonderfully soft fuzzy pink slippers, which Kien enjoys trying to swipe from me when they're not on my feet ;) ... coffee and scones appearing at our door this morning... a friend came to paint my toenails, when I said that I haven't been able to bend over to do it and wanted pretty toes while in the hospital :) ... my MOPS group gave me a "prayer shawl" knitted and prayed over by some ladies at a local church, which was then prayed over by my MOPS group before presenting it to me (and I've carried it to some doctor's appointments both for physical warmth and emotional comfort) ...novels to read... the fabulous portrait session I just blogged about separately... and the list goes on!!!! Two boxes are still waiting by the door that I hope to open this evening. I feel so blessed and loved!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!
Our church already held one prayer session for me one evening at church last week, as well as others who have prayed over me. And now a group is coming over again tonight to pray over me on the night before surgery. That means the world to me!!!! My back pain has been listed in the church bulletin under prayer requests for a couple months....now that has, of course, morphed into a written prayer request for the reason behind the pain I've been having. I've also seen that my name is on the prayer chain in the weekly announcements of my childhood church. :)
The chains of people praying for me have just been amazing... Like a coworker of Steve who emailed him to say that she had received a prayer request via email from a church she used to attend...which was written by the pastor's wife, including a blog...regarding the mother of one of her students. Of course, that was me. :) So a coworker of Steve (who already knew about my cancer, of course) received a prayer request via email regarding me from one of Kien's teachers at Mother's Morning Out (where he has started attending one morning per week).
And a cool story.... A good friend of ours (who is almost like family) went to the hospital last Thursday for an exam. And when she walked into the hospital, she saw me and Steve sitting in chairs talking to a doctor. She emailed me later to tell me this story. She said it looked like I was drinking 2 bottles of lemonade. Yup!! And she didn't want to interrupt us. So she just stopped and stood there, praying for me instead of talking to us. One of the hospital volunteers approached her to ask if she needed help. So she explained to the volunteer that her friend was over there and has cancer and that she was praying for me. So the volunteer asked my name, repeated it, and said that she would pray for me as well. :) What a cool story!! I was very blessed to know that my good friend was standing there praying for me as I sat there prepping for my tests at the hospital that day.
But there's always more!!!! This past Saturday, some of the men at church met together in the morning to pray over Steve!!!! They talked together and gave Steve a chance to be able to talk through things too. And then they prayed for him. I was sooo thrilled about this!!!! And one of the preschool Daddies (who belongs to a different church) even came too to support Steve. And at that prayer session, they asked Steve how they could help in tangible ways... and now this coming weekend, a group of men is coming over to work on our yard!!!!! PRAISE GOD!!!!! Our church family has always been family to us -- but now that is being shown even more than ever!!!! We love all of you!!!!! :) I even decided to mention to them an item that is important to me which has been on Steve's "to do list" for quite some time.... and it's now being accomplished for us!!!! We had purchased a child's table and chairs for Kevin, and it is still in the box unassembled, as this is not at the top of Steve's priority list, obviously. In fact, his priorities are quite simply.... support and take care of me.... and spend lots of time researching and researching to find me the best care possible (mostly concerning now what happens post radiation and surgery). What an amazing husband I have!!!
Incidentally, I haven't directly mentioned yet that Steve is not working at all. He did go back to work last Monday morning (the Monday after we first heard the news). But after sending out an email to his whole team about my condition, his boss came to talk to him and after a good talk, he sent Steve home. They all agree that Steve does not belong at work. Praise God!!!!!!! A VP has even called to talk to Steve -- about me -- not about work. And his boss called this week to check in -- never mentioning work, except to tell Steve that he just got a raise and a generous bonus!!!! :) PRAISE GOD!!!!!!
And of course, I can't skip mentioning my mother.... She has basically taken over my job!! I don't know how we could possibly be making it through without her being here taking care of the boys. I absolutely cannot thank her enough. And of course, the boys LOVE having all this Grandma time!!!! :) And it was fun to hear this morning when Steve said that he and my mom are having trouble coping with handling my job -- two of them having trouble handling the job of one. ;) Wow, that sure makes me feel appreciated!! ha! :) And then my dad too!!! He can't stay full-time, like my mom -- but he was here throughout last week to go to all appointments with us. Now he returned this afternoon to be here for my surgery. And then he will come back again next weekend for my birthday. :)
Then.... we haven't even had to cook since this all began!!! We have had so many wonderful friends offering to bring meals!! And in the first few days, friends just brought meals over without even asking! ha!! :) That was awesome!!! And now food just keeps coming and coming!!! And the meals are all fabulous!!!! Does everyone really eat like this at home each night???? This is what I keep wondering. ;) Or do they just make something extra special when it's being brought for someone else???? ;) ha! I hope we're not the only ones who don't normally eat quite this well! Anyway, .... YUM!!!! And in the middle of typing this post (while sitting out enjoying the BEAUTIFUL weather out on our sunroom... while Kevin is at preschool, Kien is at Mother's Morning Out, and my mom is out having a morning to herself), there was a knock at the door with the delivery of tonight's dinner!! :) It was from a friend from my MOPS group - and she even included a fancy birthday cupcake for me with a candle taped to the top of the box!!!! Sooo sweet!!!! :) :)
When I started writing this post, my intent wasn't really to list out everything that everyone has done. And that is partly because I'm afraid I may have skipped something or someone!! So please don't be offended if I did!!! I just had fun writing and writing and thinking about all the love that has been shown to me. I am just overwhelmed and feel soooo supported, loved, and encouraged!!! THANK YOU for blessing our lives!!!!!!!! :) :)
Photo Session
One of the fabulous gifts of love which has been given to me in the past 2 weeks was a photo session with a friend who is a professional photographer!! She offered to give us a "relationship photography" session and a disc of images as her gift to me!!! WOW!!! If you have any idea how much I value photos, you'll know how excited I was about this offer!!! In fact, just a couple days before she made the offer, I had thought that it would be so nice to get some new family portraits before I begin cancer treatments. We do know now that I won't be having chemo (it doesn't work on kidney cancer), so my chances of things like losing my hair are minimal. But in a time like this, pictures become even more important. So yesterday morning, we had the privilege of going to her studio for a photo session. He name is Anne Clay -- and she is HIGHLY recommended!!!! She took Kevin's 4-year portraits, and they are phenomenal!!!She called this session "relationship photography." She started by taking pictures of me alone. That's a bit nerve-wracking. ;) ha! Kevin even made some comment about how I don't usually have pictures taken alone. ;) Then she brought in Steve. I didn't expect to get all these wonderful photos, and it was just amazing. I thought we'd just focus on our family of 4. But she spent a lot of time doing all sorts of sweet and creative poses of me and Steve (while keeping me in a comfy chair). Steve and I haven't had pictures like this together since our wedding day. :) We have been married for 9 years. In fact, this Friday is the 10-year anniversary of the day Steve proposed to me. :) We have done something each year to celebrate our "engagiversary" -- but for our 10th, we will celebrate it in the hospital. But if we look at that in a different light, we're going to celebrate by saving my life!! That is a good thing. :) While taking pictures of the two of us, both Anne and my mom began to cry!! I guess that means the pictures are going to be pretty good. ;) I absolutely can't wait to see!!
Next, she brought Kien in to take Steve's place. Kien sat on my lap and we got some very sweet poses. We moved him around some and tried different things. Then we even got pictures of him kissing me!!!! :) In fact.... he did something new!! He held out his hands to cup them on my face while giving me big kisses!!! He did this multiple times, so I imagine she must have caught a great shot of this!!! Wow!! :) And then he even went into sweet snuggle mode, where he rested his head on my shoulder!!! I LOVE this!!!! I am soooo thrilled that she was able to capture this for us. :) Can't wait!!!!
Then she brought in Kevin, and we did pictures with me and both of my precious boys. :) Those will be very fun and sweet as well!! And then Kien got to take a break, as Kevin came up on my lap for mother / son photos. Kevin is such a ham and SUCH an excellent poser!!!! I know these pictures will be fabulous! :) We got sweet kissing ones as well. :)
Finally we took pictures of our family of 4. These got more complicated, of course. ha! But hopefully we got some great shots!! And then we took pictures of just me and my own Mommy together. :) We rarely ever even get snapshots of me and my mom together, so these will be very special to have!!!! I just want wait to see the final results!!!!!! At one point far into the session, Anne had to run aside to put in a new memory card. She had filled it up and called out that she had just used up 700 photos!!!! WHOA!!!! She's got a lot of work in store for her in going through these!!!!! ;) I cannot thank her enough for this fabulous, fabulous gift!!!! Have I mentioned how excited I am to see the results????? :) :)
By the way, my brother and his family (from TX) and my aunt (from Toronto) are all coming next weekend for my birthday!!!!!!! :) :) :) I am thrilled!!!!!! And while they're here, we have set up an appointment with Anne Clay for a full family photo session with our family of 4, my brother's family of 4, and my parents. 3 of the grandchildren are new additions within the past year, as my brother just got married a year ago, and we just adopted Kien in June. :) This will be lots of fun too! I just hope I can hold up well for the session, as I will have only been out of the hospital for a few days at this point. We are doing it the day before my birthday.
The MRI Story
So last Friday, Steve called the oncologist's office to figure out a new plan for accomplishing my MRI. We thought I was going to be completely knocked out. I'm not sure exactly what happened, but Steve was told this couldn't happen at the hospital. So then they scheduled me for elsewhere instead -- and they told Steve that I would get valium through an IV. So I wouldn't be completely knocked out afterall, but apparently I would be pretty out of it. And then they canceled the 2 MRI's from Monday and just lumped them all together for Wednesday night.
Our appointment was 5:50pm last night. After paperwork, I think it was about 6:15pm when they called me back. A nice man came out and simply said, "Karin." So I followed, and they said Steve could come back in a minute. He started to ask me a couple questions...then he got confused by my answers. Turns out that out of the 2 women waiting in the waiting room last evening for an MRI, we both had the same first name!!! Oops!!!! I was about to get the wrong MRI. ;) I'm sure it would have been caught at some point in conversation, as it did. But everyone was a bit surprised when they realized that 2 Karin / Karens were being called back at the same time -- and were the only patients there.
So then I was passed off to someone else and to the dressing room on the other side. And they said Steve could come with me! So he also had to fill out a form answering health questions, since he was going to be in the MRI room. And he also had to remove all metal objects from his body and leave them in the locker.
In this initial conversation, I learned one of the best pieces of news of the whole evening.... it was an open MRI!!!!!!!!! We had NO idea!!!!!!! :) :) :) We had really wanted to do this at the same location as last time, but they didn't have any availability. So I was scheduled for the standard closed little MRI machine, which did NOT work for me. And when I was rescheduled, no one bothered to tell us that this was an OPEN one!!!! :) :) :) They said it's only slightly smaller than the one I had been in before (there's something about the other one where they claim that it's the only such-and-such in the whole area -- but apparently this one is almost just as good). I decided though that I better stick with the valium idea, as this was a big deal and perhaps was going to be long. They said they needed to do an IV anyway, due to the contrast that needed to be given to me partway through the test. (The place on Friday was not going to use an IV. They were simply going to give me an injection partway through the test and I was not to move!! HUH???? No way.)
So they had me lie down, preparing to enter the machine head-first this time. And they got ready to do the IV. I wasn't nearly as worried about it this time, because I had focused my worry on the MRI itself. ;) But Steve held my hand and helped keep me calm -- and I did it!!!! I accomplished my second IV ever. :) I've actually lost track of how many times I've been stuck in the past 2 weeks. But again, I gave them very clear instructions to NOT say a word to me about what they're doing!! And they obeyed. :)
The main technician was a man, and then there was a woman who was helping (a nurse?). They were both very nice and a huge blessing. They were very patient with me and were just great (unlike the people on Friday who were like 20 years old and just clueless when I freaked out). So they got me set up and asked if I wanted a cloth over my eyes. This has been offered multiple times now in various tests, and I have always declined. But this time, I did wonder if I should take it. My concern was that it might make me feel claustrophobic. But she said I could always choose to remove it. So I let her put it on...and after a minute, I decided I wanted it off. So I pulled it off (before I was in the machine), and then I panicked!!! I had no idea that she had already attached a cage around my head!!!!! OH MY WORD!!!! So I flipped and asked them to take it off!!! I needed to calm down before anything else was done and asked them for the valium. I had made a passing comment when we entered that perhaps I wouldn't need the valium since it was an open MRI...but then had decided I should have it anyway, but I guess I wasn't clear to them. Anyway, they got the doctor to come administer the valium. Whew!!! Then the cloth went back on -- and believe me, I kept it there!!!!! I felt more relaxed and it was time to go in. I don't know what time this all began, but I'd guess it was around 6:30pm.
They were starting by taking pictures of my head. Another way that they were just great... the technician spoke to me all the time!!! He could talk to me, and he could hear me when I talked in there. So he was always telling me, "This next test will take about 2 minutes." Each time, he gave me the length of the next test!!!! That was soooo awesome!!!!! I think the longest one ever was 5 minutes. There were some that were 4 minutes. But often they were only 1 or 2 minutes - and once in awhile, they were 20 seconds. And so it was clear to me that when the machine made noise, that's when something was happening. When it was silent, we were in between tests. That was not clear during my previous MRI. During my first MRI 2 weeks ago, the guy didn't communicate with me at all until the very end. That one was to last 25 minutes, but Steve said it was about 45 minutes in the end. But I also had no cloth on my face, no cage over my head, I went in feet first, my head was out of the machine 50% of the time, and I had no IV.
After a little while, my mouth really started feeling dry. This has been happening to me in other long tests too when I have to lie still for so long. So since he was communicating with me and could hear me, during one of the little breaks, I told him my mouth was really dry. So he said the lady would try to bring me a drink. She put a straw in a cup of water and tried to reach it into the machine to my mouth. But I was lying down and blind and it dribbled on me. This kinda freaked me out and started to make me claustrophobic. So I asked them to please pull me out. I don't remember all the details now, but I think that they pulled off the head cage and the cloth, but they wanted me to lie still. I asked if I could sit up to drink, but they didn't want me to, as that would mess up my positioning. So Steve held the drink and tried to get me to drink out of the straw. But as we talked, I guess I was getting panicky. And I really needed to use the bathroom...so.... we gave up on the idea of me not moving. So Steve held my arm ask I walked to the bathroom, and he rolled along my pole attached to my IV. Yikes. I've definitely never had that before and tried very hard to ignore it.
When I came back, I needed more valium to be able to continue. So the doctor came back...and then we were ready to go again. It went well for awhile, but I don't remember what exactly happened this time. I think it was during this timeframe that they told Steve he could speak to me. So I heard his voice telling me that I was ok and doing great. However, it was muffled. I knew he was very near me, but his voice was very muffled - and it made me feel like I was stuffed in a box. This was not good. I had earphones on my head to help block out the sound of the machine. And hooray! They did also give me music, like last time!!! :) But this past Friday, they were NOT going to give me music - and they were only giving me ear plugs. The music is a BIG help. So again, I don't remember what happened this time....but I started to panic. And I hit the panic button in my left hand. My left hand held a ball to squeeze if I needed them to shoot me out of there. And my right arm contained the IV and a little pulse thing on my finger. Again, they pulled me out of the machine. They were very encouraging and were not upset with me. They said I was doing great and more than halfway done!! (In the end though, I'm not sure that I was truly halfway done timewise at this point. They may have miscalculated on that. But it had probably been at least at an hour at that point.) I was getting quite panicky and said I really just wanted to cry. I knew that crying on my husband's shoulder was exactly what I needed -- to just let it all out. But I also knew that crying was not going to help me hold still and remain composed. So they tried to discourage me from it as well. But again... I needed to use the restroom. They asked if I could wait another half hour. But I knew I couldn't make it. (Isn't it great sharing all these personal things on the web??? ;) But with the strong pain meds I've been taking, let's just say it's been causing issues...plus I've been drinking tons of water....so yes, I definitely needed yet another break.) They forewarned me that each time I move, they will have to redo some stuff. They were ok with that and were very nice. And I knew that I would rather redo some tests than lie in there without movement for that long length of time. So out we went again...with Steve pulling the pole behind us to the bathroom.
By the way, I haven't said this directly yet, but.... that valium was not truly helping me. I did feel it relax me somewhat the first couple times. But I thought I was going to be pretty out of it. That was totally NOT the case!! So I was surprised that when I got up both times, I was pretty woozy and definitely needed Steve's arm for support in walking -- and the nurse said so too. That I should not be walking on my own for awhile. So after this 2nd break, I asked if I could have valium again, as I was increasingly getting freaked out. The technician was very nice, but he told me that the doctor said I could only have 2 more doses. I said that I did want one. I didn't know if I could really go back in there again without it. So the doctor came back and gave me my 3rd dose.
The technician explained what we had left to do. He needed to finish the one section of my spine, then it would be time to give me the contrast through the IV. He wanted to do that same section of my spine next with the contrast, as it would be easier to stay in the same spot. Then he would do my head next with the contrast. I had asked if he could remove the head cage when he was done with it. It would only be after that when he would be done with it. He said he could do that, but then there wouldn't be much left afterwards. Just the remaining part of my spine (I don't remember the terms....but the lowest section of my spine was done in my original MRI...so the 2 next sections were done both in this one session, plus then also my head, making 3 separate MRI sections done in one session). So anyway, he said he could remove the cage, but it would only be for about the final 10 minutes of my whole MRI.
So I went back in....with the hope that I was almost done. He seemed to think that the rest of the it would take about 30 minutes. But both Steve and I think it did take longer than that. I guess things can take longer than they originally anticipate? Anyway, this ended up being the best part of the whole MRI. I was finally able to truly get peaceful. Oh! And at some point shortly before this, I was then told that the doctor said I could have no more valium. Turns out he only wanted me to have 3 doses, due to the strong pain meds that I'm already on. He said it would be too dangerous to give me anything else. Of course, I was very disappointed -- but I'm glad they are concerned about my health and safety.
So.... I had tried so many different head games in that machine to pass the time and remain calm. I feel far to silly to say what eventually really really worked for me. It wasn't any of the obvious stuff. It wasn't even what had kept me calm during my first MRI. The head cage was a new hurdle to overcome mentally. So I finally was able to come up with a detailed mental game which incorporated a "good excuse" for the very loud terrible noises that the machine would make...and I kept my mind focused on my game and building upon it throughout the rest of the MRI. Well, I'll just say it....even though I feel silly. It just involved pretending that when I'd hear the noise and the bed would sometimes even move due to the noises, I'd pretend that I was in one of those big massage chairs at a nail salon. So instead of the noises and movements being scary, they were working on relaxing my back. And since Steve had one of his hands on my foot, I pretended that I was having my nails done. But that was too simple to occupy my mind... so it had to become this elaborate nail painting thing, where I was envisioning exactly what they were painting on my nails and that it was all for my birthday celebration. Anyway... as silly as it was, it was the one thing that I could truly put my mind into that seemed relaxing and believable (due to circumstances of the bed and Steve's hand on my foot) -- and all that matters is... IT WORKED!!!
I hate to even admit that just praying did not help me....because it made my mind think about what was happening. I needed to fully escape and rely on the prayers of others instead. And I did it!!!!! Steve was also able to keep his hands on my leg and foot during this last phase. He was originally rubbing my leg and I called out for him to stop. That was going to drive me bonkers, so I'm really glad he got the message and that he did not speak to me -- speaking would have make me lose it too. But his gentle touch on me was a lifesaver. And I made it through!!!!! I DID IT!!!!!! Steve thinks this session was closer to an hour than 30 minuets. I'm not sure, of course. And when I came out and looked up, no one had spoken yet. So I asked trepidatiously, "Am I done?" And the answer was YES!!!!!!! The technician told me that I was doing so well that he didn't want to pull me out to take off the cage afterall. So no, he didn't keep his word. ;) But I am thankful. He did the right thing. I made it, and we were DONE!!!!!!! We finished at exactly 9pm. WOW. What an evening. I am sure that surgery will be easier than this!!!! ;) (Ok, recovery won't be so great... But surgery itself will be far easier on me personally than this ordeal!!!!)
The nurse actually handed me a handful of Hershey Kisses as we left. ha! And then we headed out in search of a drive-thru to get a drink. All we could find was a Dunkin Donuts, so we got a drink and a donut. ;) And I wasn't even able to talk about the experience or even tell Steve what I had done to get through it until we were almost home (45 minutes later). It was a horrendous ordeal, but it is DONE!!!! Praise God for seeing me through!!!!!!!! :) :)
Of course, I am not blind to the fact that I may need to do this again someday. I'm sure that testing will continue to be done over time to see how I'm doing. I don't know if MRI's will be needed. I have heard that CT scans will (but those were pretty easy - relatively speaking!). But if I ever have to do this again, I know what I want. I want an open MRI. I want my wonderful husband there by my side. And I do NOT ever want to do all 3 areas in one MRI session. The head session needs to be done separately, so that I have the cage on for as little time as possible. And I suppose that the valium must have been helpful....so I guess I would do it again. But wow, it was FAR from what was expected!!!! But for now, I will not worry about it in the least and just rejoice that this part is over. :) Sigh of relief.
Thank you so much for the prayers!!!!!
Our appointment was 5:50pm last night. After paperwork, I think it was about 6:15pm when they called me back. A nice man came out and simply said, "Karin." So I followed, and they said Steve could come back in a minute. He started to ask me a couple questions...then he got confused by my answers. Turns out that out of the 2 women waiting in the waiting room last evening for an MRI, we both had the same first name!!! Oops!!!! I was about to get the wrong MRI. ;) I'm sure it would have been caught at some point in conversation, as it did. But everyone was a bit surprised when they realized that 2 Karin / Karens were being called back at the same time -- and were the only patients there.
So then I was passed off to someone else and to the dressing room on the other side. And they said Steve could come with me! So he also had to fill out a form answering health questions, since he was going to be in the MRI room. And he also had to remove all metal objects from his body and leave them in the locker.
In this initial conversation, I learned one of the best pieces of news of the whole evening.... it was an open MRI!!!!!!!!! We had NO idea!!!!!!! :) :) :) We had really wanted to do this at the same location as last time, but they didn't have any availability. So I was scheduled for the standard closed little MRI machine, which did NOT work for me. And when I was rescheduled, no one bothered to tell us that this was an OPEN one!!!! :) :) :) They said it's only slightly smaller than the one I had been in before (there's something about the other one where they claim that it's the only such-and-such in the whole area -- but apparently this one is almost just as good). I decided though that I better stick with the valium idea, as this was a big deal and perhaps was going to be long. They said they needed to do an IV anyway, due to the contrast that needed to be given to me partway through the test. (The place on Friday was not going to use an IV. They were simply going to give me an injection partway through the test and I was not to move!! HUH???? No way.)
So they had me lie down, preparing to enter the machine head-first this time. And they got ready to do the IV. I wasn't nearly as worried about it this time, because I had focused my worry on the MRI itself. ;) But Steve held my hand and helped keep me calm -- and I did it!!!! I accomplished my second IV ever. :) I've actually lost track of how many times I've been stuck in the past 2 weeks. But again, I gave them very clear instructions to NOT say a word to me about what they're doing!! And they obeyed. :)
The main technician was a man, and then there was a woman who was helping (a nurse?). They were both very nice and a huge blessing. They were very patient with me and were just great (unlike the people on Friday who were like 20 years old and just clueless when I freaked out). So they got me set up and asked if I wanted a cloth over my eyes. This has been offered multiple times now in various tests, and I have always declined. But this time, I did wonder if I should take it. My concern was that it might make me feel claustrophobic. But she said I could always choose to remove it. So I let her put it on...and after a minute, I decided I wanted it off. So I pulled it off (before I was in the machine), and then I panicked!!! I had no idea that she had already attached a cage around my head!!!!! OH MY WORD!!!! So I flipped and asked them to take it off!!! I needed to calm down before anything else was done and asked them for the valium. I had made a passing comment when we entered that perhaps I wouldn't need the valium since it was an open MRI...but then had decided I should have it anyway, but I guess I wasn't clear to them. Anyway, they got the doctor to come administer the valium. Whew!!! Then the cloth went back on -- and believe me, I kept it there!!!!! I felt more relaxed and it was time to go in. I don't know what time this all began, but I'd guess it was around 6:30pm.
They were starting by taking pictures of my head. Another way that they were just great... the technician spoke to me all the time!!! He could talk to me, and he could hear me when I talked in there. So he was always telling me, "This next test will take about 2 minutes." Each time, he gave me the length of the next test!!!! That was soooo awesome!!!!! I think the longest one ever was 5 minutes. There were some that were 4 minutes. But often they were only 1 or 2 minutes - and once in awhile, they were 20 seconds. And so it was clear to me that when the machine made noise, that's when something was happening. When it was silent, we were in between tests. That was not clear during my previous MRI. During my first MRI 2 weeks ago, the guy didn't communicate with me at all until the very end. That one was to last 25 minutes, but Steve said it was about 45 minutes in the end. But I also had no cloth on my face, no cage over my head, I went in feet first, my head was out of the machine 50% of the time, and I had no IV.
After a little while, my mouth really started feeling dry. This has been happening to me in other long tests too when I have to lie still for so long. So since he was communicating with me and could hear me, during one of the little breaks, I told him my mouth was really dry. So he said the lady would try to bring me a drink. She put a straw in a cup of water and tried to reach it into the machine to my mouth. But I was lying down and blind and it dribbled on me. This kinda freaked me out and started to make me claustrophobic. So I asked them to please pull me out. I don't remember all the details now, but I think that they pulled off the head cage and the cloth, but they wanted me to lie still. I asked if I could sit up to drink, but they didn't want me to, as that would mess up my positioning. So Steve held the drink and tried to get me to drink out of the straw. But as we talked, I guess I was getting panicky. And I really needed to use the bathroom...so.... we gave up on the idea of me not moving. So Steve held my arm ask I walked to the bathroom, and he rolled along my pole attached to my IV. Yikes. I've definitely never had that before and tried very hard to ignore it.
When I came back, I needed more valium to be able to continue. So the doctor came back...and then we were ready to go again. It went well for awhile, but I don't remember what exactly happened this time. I think it was during this timeframe that they told Steve he could speak to me. So I heard his voice telling me that I was ok and doing great. However, it was muffled. I knew he was very near me, but his voice was very muffled - and it made me feel like I was stuffed in a box. This was not good. I had earphones on my head to help block out the sound of the machine. And hooray! They did also give me music, like last time!!! :) But this past Friday, they were NOT going to give me music - and they were only giving me ear plugs. The music is a BIG help. So again, I don't remember what happened this time....but I started to panic. And I hit the panic button in my left hand. My left hand held a ball to squeeze if I needed them to shoot me out of there. And my right arm contained the IV and a little pulse thing on my finger. Again, they pulled me out of the machine. They were very encouraging and were not upset with me. They said I was doing great and more than halfway done!! (In the end though, I'm not sure that I was truly halfway done timewise at this point. They may have miscalculated on that. But it had probably been at least at an hour at that point.) I was getting quite panicky and said I really just wanted to cry. I knew that crying on my husband's shoulder was exactly what I needed -- to just let it all out. But I also knew that crying was not going to help me hold still and remain composed. So they tried to discourage me from it as well. But again... I needed to use the restroom. They asked if I could wait another half hour. But I knew I couldn't make it. (Isn't it great sharing all these personal things on the web??? ;) But with the strong pain meds I've been taking, let's just say it's been causing issues...plus I've been drinking tons of water....so yes, I definitely needed yet another break.) They forewarned me that each time I move, they will have to redo some stuff. They were ok with that and were very nice. And I knew that I would rather redo some tests than lie in there without movement for that long length of time. So out we went again...with Steve pulling the pole behind us to the bathroom.
By the way, I haven't said this directly yet, but.... that valium was not truly helping me. I did feel it relax me somewhat the first couple times. But I thought I was going to be pretty out of it. That was totally NOT the case!! So I was surprised that when I got up both times, I was pretty woozy and definitely needed Steve's arm for support in walking -- and the nurse said so too. That I should not be walking on my own for awhile. So after this 2nd break, I asked if I could have valium again, as I was increasingly getting freaked out. The technician was very nice, but he told me that the doctor said I could only have 2 more doses. I said that I did want one. I didn't know if I could really go back in there again without it. So the doctor came back and gave me my 3rd dose.
The technician explained what we had left to do. He needed to finish the one section of my spine, then it would be time to give me the contrast through the IV. He wanted to do that same section of my spine next with the contrast, as it would be easier to stay in the same spot. Then he would do my head next with the contrast. I had asked if he could remove the head cage when he was done with it. It would only be after that when he would be done with it. He said he could do that, but then there wouldn't be much left afterwards. Just the remaining part of my spine (I don't remember the terms....but the lowest section of my spine was done in my original MRI...so the 2 next sections were done both in this one session, plus then also my head, making 3 separate MRI sections done in one session). So anyway, he said he could remove the cage, but it would only be for about the final 10 minutes of my whole MRI.
So I went back in....with the hope that I was almost done. He seemed to think that the rest of the it would take about 30 minutes. But both Steve and I think it did take longer than that. I guess things can take longer than they originally anticipate? Anyway, this ended up being the best part of the whole MRI. I was finally able to truly get peaceful. Oh! And at some point shortly before this, I was then told that the doctor said I could have no more valium. Turns out he only wanted me to have 3 doses, due to the strong pain meds that I'm already on. He said it would be too dangerous to give me anything else. Of course, I was very disappointed -- but I'm glad they are concerned about my health and safety.
So.... I had tried so many different head games in that machine to pass the time and remain calm. I feel far to silly to say what eventually really really worked for me. It wasn't any of the obvious stuff. It wasn't even what had kept me calm during my first MRI. The head cage was a new hurdle to overcome mentally. So I finally was able to come up with a detailed mental game which incorporated a "good excuse" for the very loud terrible noises that the machine would make...and I kept my mind focused on my game and building upon it throughout the rest of the MRI. Well, I'll just say it....even though I feel silly. It just involved pretending that when I'd hear the noise and the bed would sometimes even move due to the noises, I'd pretend that I was in one of those big massage chairs at a nail salon. So instead of the noises and movements being scary, they were working on relaxing my back. And since Steve had one of his hands on my foot, I pretended that I was having my nails done. But that was too simple to occupy my mind... so it had to become this elaborate nail painting thing, where I was envisioning exactly what they were painting on my nails and that it was all for my birthday celebration. Anyway... as silly as it was, it was the one thing that I could truly put my mind into that seemed relaxing and believable (due to circumstances of the bed and Steve's hand on my foot) -- and all that matters is... IT WORKED!!!
I hate to even admit that just praying did not help me....because it made my mind think about what was happening. I needed to fully escape and rely on the prayers of others instead. And I did it!!!!! Steve was also able to keep his hands on my leg and foot during this last phase. He was originally rubbing my leg and I called out for him to stop. That was going to drive me bonkers, so I'm really glad he got the message and that he did not speak to me -- speaking would have make me lose it too. But his gentle touch on me was a lifesaver. And I made it through!!!!! I DID IT!!!!!! Steve thinks this session was closer to an hour than 30 minuets. I'm not sure, of course. And when I came out and looked up, no one had spoken yet. So I asked trepidatiously, "Am I done?" And the answer was YES!!!!!!! The technician told me that I was doing so well that he didn't want to pull me out to take off the cage afterall. So no, he didn't keep his word. ;) But I am thankful. He did the right thing. I made it, and we were DONE!!!!!!! We finished at exactly 9pm. WOW. What an evening. I am sure that surgery will be easier than this!!!! ;) (Ok, recovery won't be so great... But surgery itself will be far easier on me personally than this ordeal!!!!)
The nurse actually handed me a handful of Hershey Kisses as we left. ha! And then we headed out in search of a drive-thru to get a drink. All we could find was a Dunkin Donuts, so we got a drink and a donut. ;) And I wasn't even able to talk about the experience or even tell Steve what I had done to get through it until we were almost home (45 minutes later). It was a horrendous ordeal, but it is DONE!!!! Praise God for seeing me through!!!!!!!! :) :)
Of course, I am not blind to the fact that I may need to do this again someday. I'm sure that testing will continue to be done over time to see how I'm doing. I don't know if MRI's will be needed. I have heard that CT scans will (but those were pretty easy - relatively speaking!). But if I ever have to do this again, I know what I want. I want an open MRI. I want my wonderful husband there by my side. And I do NOT ever want to do all 3 areas in one MRI session. The head session needs to be done separately, so that I have the cage on for as little time as possible. And I suppose that the valium must have been helpful....so I guess I would do it again. But wow, it was FAR from what was expected!!!! But for now, I will not worry about it in the least and just rejoice that this part is over. :) Sigh of relief.
Thank you so much for the prayers!!!!!
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
The MRI...Can't Even Talk About it Yet
Well, I did it. I survived my triple MRI. It lasted for 2.5 hours. Yes, you read that right. 2.5 hours. And yes, I did hit the panic button a couple times. I have so much more to say on this subject, but I just can't do it right now from an exhaustion and emotional standpoint. Steve was with me for the whole thing, but I wasn't even able to talk about it in the car on the way home for the first 45 minutes. Then I wasn't able to tell my mom much of anything for awhile either after getting home. I took a bath, took my pain pills, and have been working on relaxing and getting out of pain. I'm finally pain-free, and I think I need to go to bed. Steve has already fallen asleep on the couch. So I will write more tomorrow. There were some blessings along the way - including the fact that I actually accomplished the task!! Praise God!!! But overall, it was quite a nightmare. And literally, I am afraid that I may have nightmares tonight. Oh boy.
Tomorrow will bring another radiation appointment, along with an appointment with the radiation oncologist to discuss the MRI's. I'm also to do some "surgery prep" things at home. And my dad arrives in the afternoon! Then some wonderful church friends plan to pray over me in the evening again....and Friday is surgery day. But certainly, surgery itself must be better than this experience tonight!! So onward and upward.... I'll write more tomorrow. :)
Thanks sooooo much for the prayers!!!!!!
Unfortunately, I had to miss the first night of my new small group tonight. Ironically, I thought we'd be getting home shortly after they started - so by the time they'd think to pray for the MRI specifically, it would be over. Little did any of us know that I was probably in that machine throughout their entire meeting tonight!! Boy, oh, boy. Anyway, thank you all soooo much for the prayers!!!!! I look forward to some relaxing tomorrow -- I hope! And getting some last-minute things done.
Tomorrow will bring another radiation appointment, along with an appointment with the radiation oncologist to discuss the MRI's. I'm also to do some "surgery prep" things at home. And my dad arrives in the afternoon! Then some wonderful church friends plan to pray over me in the evening again....and Friday is surgery day. But certainly, surgery itself must be better than this experience tonight!! So onward and upward.... I'll write more tomorrow. :)
Thanks sooooo much for the prayers!!!!!!
Unfortunately, I had to miss the first night of my new small group tonight. Ironically, I thought we'd be getting home shortly after they started - so by the time they'd think to pray for the MRI specifically, it would be over. Little did any of us know that I was probably in that machine throughout their entire meeting tonight!! Boy, oh, boy. Anyway, thank you all soooo much for the prayers!!!!! I look forward to some relaxing tomorrow -- I hope! And getting some last-minute things done.
We Goofed
My general physician told us on Sept. 5 that people often start forgetting appointments with all that starts happening, so I've really tried to stay on the ball. Steve too! He's done a wonderful job of taking care of me and promised that he would be with me at all my appointments. :) (That was something that he promised on his own -- not something that I specifically asked.)
So anyway, there's obviously been a lot going on, and it's already getting hard to juggle all the info. So... I took a nap today...and my mom and Steve forgot to wake me up! Fortunately, I did wake up, but then had only about 10 minutes to eat lunch and get to my radiation appointment, so we were a little late. Oops! So that was a bit frazzling. I was due for both pain meds at that point, so Steve quickly gave me my 8-hour one before we left home. After we got home, I was really hurting from lying on that hard surface for radiation. I also had gotten a stomach ache after the speed lunch and then lying down...so I was a bit of a cranky mess. So in our weird groggy state, I took the 4-hour pain med too when we arrived home. I'm so paranoid about medicine that I always double or triple check with Steve before taking anything -- even when he's giving it to me! ;) ha. And we always write it all down too. And it was, in fact, time to take it. So anyway....an hour after taking it, I was reading through my little notebook where we keep track of everything. And I saw that we wrote on Friday that I'm not supposed to take the 4-hour pain meds before the MRI today!!!!!!! ARRRGGGHHHH!!!!! OH NO!!!! I took it 3 hours before the MRI appt!!! Steve called the radiology place to talk to them about it, and they said they'd pass the message on to the doctor. But they said it's ok, and they may just adjust the level of valium. It's always possible that they may not, but we don't know yet. Well, that scares me to death!!!! I NEED that valium!!!!!!! So please please pray that I make it through this thing!!!!! My MRI on Friday was to last for 30 minutes total. Then I was to have 2 more on Monday, and I'm not sure how long they were to last. But all 3 are being done tonight. That could really be a long time in that machine, and I really wanted to be knocked out completely, although I won't be completely knocked out with valium anyway. I need lots of prayers to make it through this.....
THANK YOU!!!!!!!
So anyway, there's obviously been a lot going on, and it's already getting hard to juggle all the info. So... I took a nap today...and my mom and Steve forgot to wake me up! Fortunately, I did wake up, but then had only about 10 minutes to eat lunch and get to my radiation appointment, so we were a little late. Oops! So that was a bit frazzling. I was due for both pain meds at that point, so Steve quickly gave me my 8-hour one before we left home. After we got home, I was really hurting from lying on that hard surface for radiation. I also had gotten a stomach ache after the speed lunch and then lying down...so I was a bit of a cranky mess. So in our weird groggy state, I took the 4-hour pain med too when we arrived home. I'm so paranoid about medicine that I always double or triple check with Steve before taking anything -- even when he's giving it to me! ;) ha. And we always write it all down too. And it was, in fact, time to take it. So anyway....an hour after taking it, I was reading through my little notebook where we keep track of everything. And I saw that we wrote on Friday that I'm not supposed to take the 4-hour pain meds before the MRI today!!!!!!! ARRRGGGHHHH!!!!! OH NO!!!! I took it 3 hours before the MRI appt!!! Steve called the radiology place to talk to them about it, and they said they'd pass the message on to the doctor. But they said it's ok, and they may just adjust the level of valium. It's always possible that they may not, but we don't know yet. Well, that scares me to death!!!! I NEED that valium!!!!!!! So please please pray that I make it through this thing!!!!! My MRI on Friday was to last for 30 minutes total. Then I was to have 2 more on Monday, and I'm not sure how long they were to last. But all 3 are being done tonight. That could really be a long time in that machine, and I really wanted to be knocked out completely, although I won't be completely knocked out with valium anyway. I need lots of prayers to make it through this.....
THANK YOU!!!!!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
