Newspaper eulogy

A cousin's husband, Tom Rivers, is a journalist. He wrote a piece about Karin for his local paper, The Daily News, Batavia, NY:


Tom Rivers: Praising God in the face of a tragic loss

Thursday, December 18, 2008 12:37 PM EST

Another day, another blog entry from Karin Faulkner about her children. This lady is over-the-top ga-ga about her kids. I find her writings very amusing and sweet.

Karin, 35, is my wife's cousin. She wins the award for the purest heart of any adult I know. Nine years ago my wife and I attended Karin's wedding to a super guy named Steve. Their first dance together, done in ballroom style (they had taken lessons for weeks ahead of time), with them beaming into each other's faces, is something I'll never forget.

Four years ago they adopted a baby boy, Kevin, from Russia. Karin soon started posting daily blog entries about her son. She noted his achievements and shared cute stories about things he said and did -- ending the sentences with multiple exclamation points and smiley faces.

My wife and I got a kick out of the blog, and were happy to see Kevin so enthusiastically embraced by Karin and Steve. They live in North Carolina, where Steve is a computer guy and Karin, a stay-at-home mom who designs and runs Web sites. She's very creative.

This year, the Faulkners adopted two more children: Kien and Aria, both 1 year old, from Vietnam. Karin blogged about the adoption process and the family's excitement over welcoming the new youngsters. Kevin was eager to be a big brother.

Karin added many photos of the expanded family, including Kevin in a T-shirt that boasted he's a big brother to twins. Steve was always smiling in the photos while Karin had at least one kid clinging to her leg, arm or waist.

In early September, Karin wrote a blog entry titled, "Shocking News." Her persistent lower back pain was caused by a malignant fist-sized tumor on her right kidney.

During the next three months, she would give frequent updates about her treatment, surgery and radiation. She often wrote about the friendliness of the doctors and nurses, and she would praise God for the success of a day's treatment.

She often thanked her friends for their encouragement, for sending over meals and helping in so many ways.

I assumed the cancer was just a little blip on her life's journey. Last week, Karin got pneumonia. On Monday, she died. Many of us, those who know this sweet lady, are absolutely devastated.

No one should die so prematurely, and so agonizingly, especially someone who has opened her heart and life to three young children.

I am so sad and angry about the unfairness of the whole thing.

Steve, Karin's husband, has maintained Karin's blog during the past 10 days, writing posts to let her friends and family know how she was doing.

Steve refused to be bitter in a blog entry on Monday, informing everyone that Karin had died. He wrote in her style, with exclamation points, even praising God that her pain was over and she was in a better place. Steve titled the entry, "God is Good."

"Our life together has been a wondrous love story, a great adventure, with many joys and many struggles -- great expectations, great disappointments, and great joys! True life!!! Well lived!!" Steve wrote.

"Though we will miss her greatly here, at this moment I can think only of her and the joy she is being freed to -- perfection and joy -- the world she always tried to make reality here on earth!! :-)"

God bless you, Steve.

Tom Rivers is a general assignment reporter who also writes columns, which are published alternate Thursdays.

Blizzards and backlog

About 30 family members traveled from afar. Due to the extreme weather conditions across the northeastern part of the country and Canada, most were not able to leave on schedule. Saturday, we enjoyed a house full of family. In fact, we think that Karin orchestrated this storm so that everyone was forced to spend more time together. Most were able to get out late Saturday or Sunday. Some were here until Monday and even Tuesday! :)

Karin would have loved this!

Cary police blocked off every intersection between the church and the cemetery. As someone said in their tribute: "Karin loved being the center of attention!" She would have been impressed that she stopped traffic at multiple main intersections in Cary!

Dedication

Karin had planned to have the babies' dedication service in January. After Karin's death, a peculiar idea came to mind: why not have it at the funeral when a large family contingent will be present plus Karin's shell will be physically there as well. Others agreed. These children are her legacy! Our celebration of Karin's life ended with the family present promising to assist in raising these children to love the Lord, and the church members attending agreeing to do their part in teaching these children to follow Jesus.

In Loving Celebration

Accommodating Travelers

Many friends and relatives are traveling from across the continent to be present for our celebration of Karin. Local friends want to help in various ways including chauffeuring out of town people to and from the airport or around town and providing guest bedrooms in their homes. If anyone could use this assistance, contact the church office at 919-481-5525 or summit@summit.nc.org.

We are deeply touched by the outpouring of love, support, condolences, and the intent to attend from afar. We are very grateful. These are bittersweet days.

Thank You!!

The care we have received from our dear friends this past week has been incredible!! And it has been soooo needed. I cannot imagine getting through this week without our friends - especially Pam Slice - the only person I know who's gift of organization comes close to my dear Karin - who coordinated so many other friends to provide support for Heather in caring for the kids during the day as well as night and weekend care so we could be at the hospital. And thanks to all that brought meals - our fridge and freezer are stuffed!! :-) And thank you to all who joined our vigil, at the hospital and online!! Your support has been immense beyond words! Seeing and remembering all those that Karin touched has been a great source of comfort to me in some way I cannot explain. Certainly it does nothing to decrease the great loss in my life, but I am so proud of her, and proud to have supported her in the Love she has given to so many, and proud to be her chosen one and best friend these past 10 years.

Tuesday we talked to a family that had only days notice at the hinting of loosing a mother of 37, and though Karin's passing was shockingly quick in the final week, I am so thankful to have had three months to wrestle with this day coming soon.

Karin was always such a positive person, always choosing to believe the most positive in all situations, that I suspect that many who read this blog faithfully had no idea of the seriousness of her diagnosis/prognosis. The type of Karin's cancer is rarely curred (advanced renal cell carcinoma) and in the very advanced stage of hers, is 'incurable'. There was the potential of slowing down or stopping the cancer spread with treatment, and Karin chose focus on God's possibilities not man's limitations, to the degree that she never wanted to admit how serious it was - not wanting the doubt and negative focus that would result I suppose. She did admit to me (on very rare and brief occasions) that her early death was possible, but we thought it was at least a year away, or at least 6 months.

As this chapter of my life closes, I continue to rejoice in Karin's life and good fortune (to be with God), and I continue to be at peace with the need to boldly set forth on a new adventure. It won't be easy - good adventures never are! But great things will come of it, and that is life - well lived! Glory to God.