Going to the ER

Steve just called my nurse practitioner at Duke and described how I've been doing since I was there Monday. And she said I should go to the ER today. :( She said we don't have to drive all the way to Duke if we don't want to, so we're going to our closest hospital instead. She said they'll check me out and possibly admit me. UGH!! I have so much to do this week, and I do NOT want to go to the hospital. :(

High Fever

This is Steve. Karin is not well and has a fever of 103 :-(

She had a bad morning, moaning for a couple hours from GI/gas pain and feeling cold, but couldn't keep her eyes open more than a few seconds. She was also very ghostly pale. It was breaking my heart to see her in that shape. I really needed to get to work (can't live without an income) but I couldn't bring myself to leave her like that. Finally at 10:30am she woke enough to sit at her computer and talk. She insisted she was ok and pushed me to work.
I got home at 6:30pm. She was able to wake for a few minutes for a brief description of her day. Grandma says she was awake downstairs long enough to eat some cottage cheese - the most food she's had in a few days, but she seems to have slept most of the day - that's our guess - grandma was busy with kids and Karin was mostly in the bedroom with door closed. Karin's temp was 99 at 6pm. She had no interest in getting up for dinner, then I too was busy with kids until 10pm. Then checked her temp again and it was 103. I got her up and out of bed and to the bathroom. She was unsteady and held me for fear of falling.
She seems very weak. I'll probably call an oncology nurse soon to find out if/when she needs closer attention/treatment.

10:50pm update: she still can't keep her eyes open for more than a few seconds, but her temp is down to 101.

Bracelets!! and Discomfort

Today was Aria's 2nd Sunday at church...and for the 2nd week in a row, we ended up being quite late. Between taking 3 kids to church and my slowness in the morning due to discomfort, it's hard to get there on time. But little did I know that we missed something significant this morning!! Before we arrived, an announcement was made about ME!! I knew about these bracelets ahead of time, but I didn't know that today was the day. So it was announced today that a couple hundred bracelets were made with my name on them...and they were passed out at the back door after the service today!!! They are to serve as reminders for people to pray for me!!!! WOW!!!! :) :) Thank you to everyone who is praying and wearing a bracelet reminder!!!! :) :) I feel sooo blessed!!!!! Kevin got a bracelet too, and he was pretty impressed.

That reminds me that last week in Children's Church, apparently Kevin's class talked about a story about healing. And if they knew someone who is sick, they were to take a band-aid as a reminder to pray for that person (I think I got the story right??). So as I was talking to a friend after church, Kevin came up behind me and stuck a band-aid on my back!! HA!! :) I later found out the explanation from him and even saw that his teacher had written "Mommy" on the band-aid. :) So Kevin had specifically talked about me in his class. What a sweet boy!! :)

As for my status, my side effects are getting worse and more uncomfortable. Some have gotten pretty severely uncomfortable. But today was my final day of taking one of the trial meds for this cycle. Hooray!!! I now get a week off and hopefully will get back to normal for a bit. :) Yesterday and today, I had to eat ice cream for dinner, because there's nothing else I can tolerate due to my sore mouth. Tomorrow is my next appointment at Duke, which will probably last all day, as usual. And I hope to get some help with some of these brutal side effects!! Fortunately, my pain is pretty much under control though. :) And my walking was really great today!!! :)

I'm Doing Pretty Well

This may have been my biggest gap between appointments at Duke thus far! I had a pre-scheduled appointment last Monday (the day I was discharged from the hospital). And my next appointment is this coming Monday (exactly 2 weeks apart). Of course, in the meantime, I've been enjoying our precious daughter, our 2 wonderful boys, Thanksgiving, and preparing for Christmas. We've also been focusing a lot this week on finding a nanny to help me during the day while Steve is at work. Right now, my mom is still here - and is still a fabulous help that we could not do without!!! But eventually, she'd probably like to go home. ;)

The great news is that my new pain medicine (which I started in the hospital) is really working!! I was doing really well after coming home from the hospital. The very next day, we went shopping at the mall. I had some things I had wanted to do there for awhile, so I was really happy to be able to do it! And it was fun to go out into the real world and experience things like Christmas decorations. :) I did quite a lot of walking that day. And later in the week, I was in more pain. In fact, I had quite a bit of pain during Thanksgiving dinner and even riding in the car to and from the restaurant. But I dealt with it and enjoyed Thanksgiving nonetheless. Anyway, I wondered if the pain was due to perhaps overdoing it on Tuesday at the mall? And now this week, I'm doing much better! The difference between how I feel when I first wake up in the morning now vs. a couple weeks ago is HUGE. I'm rarely even taking the breakthrough pain medication this week. So I'm really doing great! Praise God!!! :)

The downside... is that I've been having quite a few side effects, which have been unpleasant and uncomfortable. I'm on the second cycle of my trial meds now (with one of the meds, I take it for 2 weeks, then I don't take it for 1 week). So my body had a week to recover from the side effects from before. And then they started up again. Some of them are the same, and fortunately some of them did not reoccur (yet). However, I had some new surprises too. One example of an annoying recurring side effect is a sore mouth. It hurts to eat many things. So this also cuts down on my appetite, which isn't helping the fact that I have already lost 20 lbs this fall. I actually weigh the same as on our wedding day 9.5 years ago, which has never occurred again since then until now! I just hope I don't keep losing weight. (That's not something I ever thought I'd hear myself say!! ha!)

I had a second follow-up appointment with my surgeon today from my kidney surgery in Sept. He didn't have much to say, and once again, he didn't even look at my incision. ha! It is looking pretty great though, and I'm even able to handle looking at it now. ;) So I'm pretty much all healed up, with a lovely long line across my abdomen.

Steve has continued to spend a lot of time researching different treatments and such. He has become quite educated on the subject and is doing all that he can to find treatments and answers for me. He is a WONDERFUL husband!!! Between the nanny research, cancer research, coming home from Vietnam, needing to work, etc....he's been pretty stressed!

Thanks so much for your continued prayers!!! Here are my current prayer requests:

• Healing from cancer!!
  
• That the trial meds will stop the spread of my cancer
  
• Peace and wisdom for Steve as he researches many topics for our family
• Finding the right nanny for our family
• Freedom from pain and ability to do the physical activities of daily life
• Minimal side effects and discomfort
• Ability to sleep well
• Healing for my left arm, which is fractured
• Praises to God for our beautiful daughter and her great transition, the blessing of our wonderful family (including my mom who has been so great!!), and my decreased pain!!!
  

Our First Week with Aria

After coming home from the hospital last Monday, I've been busy spending time with my kiddos and getting to know my new daughter!! :) So I've been slow at posting recently. But now I'm going to share a bunch of fun photos from our first 1.5 weeks with Aria!! :) She is doing great! At the time I came home from the hospital, she still didn't know who I was and didn't want me holding her. (I also can't actually carry her, as she's too heavy for me right now. She's 22 lbs, while Kien is 17 lbs. They are just 4 days apart.) But I can hold her on my lap. :) Anyway, she quickly warmed up to me!! I even got a smile out of her within my first 24 hours back at home. :) She now isn't just attached to Steve and is quickly adjusting to her new home and family. She seems to enjoy her 2 brothers. And Kevin absolutely adores her!! Kien seems to really like her too, as he has often stroked her hair. :) Thanksgiving marked one week after she came home, so here are some pictures from the first 1.5 weeks...

This was shortly after we arrived home from the airport.

Here's the proud big brother with his t-shirt: "I'm the BIG brother of TWINS!" :)


They came to visit me in the hospital on the first weekend, and Aria and I played peek-a-boo. :)

We all ate in the hospital cafeteria on the last night, and Aria kept stealing Kien's fries! ha!

Back in my hospital room, Kevin played peek-a-boo with the babies from behind the door. They both LOVED it!! :) Kevin got huge smiles out of Aria!!!

Aria laughed when Kien tried on her hat in her nursery. :)

We've started seeing her smile more and more! :)

Kien likes rubbing Aria's hair! :) (She's drinking a play baby bottle for a doll.)

Both babies went after my iPhone, and I loved the look of these 2 little faces clamoring up towards my lap to reach the iPhone!! :) We waited a very long time to have these 2 little guys!!!

Here's our pretty little princess, wearing a hair bow for the first time. :) She also loves her pink toy harp with Disney princesses on it (on the floor)! (I play the harp, so this was the perfect toy for my little girl!!)

I felt so great on Tuesday (the day after I was discharged from the hospital), that we went out shopping at the mall!!! My mom and I took all 3 kids, and it went really well!! :) I pushed the twin stroller, as it actually made it easier for me to have something to lean on. Both babies proved to be great shoppers!!

She lets Mommy hold her now!!! YAY!!!! :) :)

Here I am with my 2 babies!! Although Kevin (age 4) claims to be my 3rd baby...despite the fact he previously had claimed to be a big boy. ;)

On Wednesday night, Aria went out to eat at her first restaurant (not including the hospital cafeteria). Both babies sat in high chairs at the end of a booth at Chili's - and they did great!! Aria is an excellent eater!! Unlike Kien. ;) But he seems to be learning from her a little bit.

Here is our family of 5 on Thanksgiving Day at the wonderful restaurant where we had a Thanksgiving buffet dinner!

Grampy came to visit over Thanksgiving and met his new granddaughter! :)

Aria wore her first dress on Thanksgiving - and some fancy new shoes!

They watched us put up the Christmas tree - and we had to put a baby gate around the entire thing to guard off two sets of little hands this year!! ;)


Grandma and Grandpa went out for a date one night, so we had our first dinner as just a family of 5. :)

This was taken this morning at church! Isn't she a doll??? :) She is giving more and more great smiles now!!!! :) She's becoming a very happy little girl!!!! (She colored on Kevin's magnadoodle at church after watching him do it! We were pretty amazed that she immediately knew how to color with it after watching him!)

Here we are in church with Aria, after Kevin and Kien had gone off to class / the nursery. She did great staying in church with us! :)

This week, Aria and Kien both turn 18 months old!! And next week, we celebrate 6 months since Kien's adoption!! :)

I'm Home!!! :)

I got to come home today!!!! :) :) I was discharged in the morning. Fortunately, the doctor came by very early, so it all happened before noon. But then I still had my doctor's appt over at the clinic, as was previously arranged. But we were able to head for home around 3pm. It was great to be home and see my kiddos!! :) And I actually got Aria to smile at me for the very first time!!!

As for my xrays (taken at 4am....grrr...), they showed no progression of the cancer in my bones - so that was a great relief!! There was a fear at the beginning of the weekend that the increased pain could have been from disease progression. Thank God that nothing was noticed on the xrays! However, this wasn't the most precise way of discovering that information...and that won't truly be known until they redo the other scans (CT scans, bone scan) in another 2 months. (Those scans will be done once every 3 months.) But any potential progression wasn't significant enough to have shown up in the xrays. And any bone loss due to cancer was less than my nurse practitioner would have expected. She seemed very pleased! And the other good news was that there wasn't any new fracture in the painful areas, which was another fear.

Amazingly, this new drug has really been keeping me out of pain!!! I've just had some minor pain since Saturday in my lower back (really, it's in my sitting area, if you want to be precise ;) ). That is one of the main areas where I usually feel pain, in addition to down my legs, which is caused by 2 pinched nerves in the lower back. And of course, my left arm is the other main area of pain. I was able to elevate my left arm by a couple inches today!

It took quite awhile to go over my prescription changes with a doctor and then with the floor nurse this morning before being discharged. Then I had 5 prescriptions to fill. Back at home, I revised the spreadsheet on my computer that shows when I take everything during the day - but now it has become more complicated! I now have drugs to take 4 times per day instead of 3 times per day. And there are certain things that can't be taken together. It's quite an analytical puzzle to figure out when to take each thing during the day. And now I need to stay up until midnight to get my final doses...so that's in a few minutes, and then I can go off to bed!

I slept fabulously for the 2nd night in a row!!!! So I hope that my sleep will be just as good now that I'm back at home!!! :) I can't believe how well I slept at the hospital!!! 11 hours on Sat night and 10 hours on Sun night!!! Wow!!!

I walked through the clinic to get to my appointment this afternoon, and then everyone who saw me raved about how I looked!! They all said I looked sooo great!!!! :) :) They were so impressed with how I was doing!!!! :) :) One nurse often refers to how awful I looked the first day I ever came there. They were all concerned. Another nurse had seen me in the waiting area and had taken me back to a bed because I looked so terrible! So I've been repeatedly complimented on my improved color and appearance -- but especially today!! :) And they were so happy to see me walking!! I had a limp and was kind of slow -- but I was walking!!! :)

So now I'm home! And Aria's finally home after months and months of prayer!!!! And we expect to have a fabulous Thanksgiving this week!!!! There's a lot to celebrate. :)

Sat and Sun in the Hospital

I'm here! I wanted to type up a quick run-down of what's gone on since Friday.

So... Steve took me to the hospital Friday night, and I was admitted - which took a very long time! We were able to sit around in my room, but my pain was getting worse and worse as I waited... so eventually, I went ahead and took my own meds, even though an IV was supposedly coming. So I just told them what I had taken when they finally were ready (quite a bit later) & all was fine. Steve didn't leave here until 1am! And it's a fairly long drive home (not like the hospital in Sept, which was so close to our house). This time, Steve also has not been spending the night with me - now that Aria is newly home and there are 3 kiddos to take care of. So that was a big bummer as well. On top of the fact that I came to the hospital the day after Aria finally came home!!! sigh.

Anyway... The first night was quite bad. They woke me up a lot. INCLUDING.... wheeling me down for xrays at 4am!!!!! I couldn't believe it. And I probably should have refused. That was so absurd and unnecessary. And then the xray tech was NOT nice to me!! I had to lie on a hard surface (ouch). And she had me move in some funny directions. Well, I couldn't always do it - either due to my broken left shoulder or my very sore right hip. And she would get annoyed with me!! No sympathy at all. In the end, she helped me up, but I had laid there for long enough that it was VERY painful, so I screamed!!! And totally cried!! When someone is sobbing and crying, shouldn't people usually act a little sympathetic??? There were 3 people in the room with me... but nothing. sigh. So back to bed. But the guy who wheeled me back (in my bed) didn't set my bed up. So later, the nurse came in and realized and was annoyed and hooked me up. But at 6am or so, I woke up in pain and needed help, so I tried to hit the nurse call button on the bed. But nope....it hadn't be reconnected. I could not call the nurse!!! I could hear people in the hall, so I just kept yelling, "Hello??? Hello????" Talk about a miserable opening experience at the hospital. sigh. Someone eventually came in (by chance though, I think).

In the morning, Steve came back. And a friend came to our house to help my mom with the kids! :) So they went to Target with 3 kids. While Steve was here with me, 2 different doctors came to talk to us (one who works with my doctor). I'm on an oncology floor, so it's very specialized. And around lunch, another friend came to the hospital to be with me. :) She's actually a nurse at Duke herself, so that was also helpful. And when Steve had to leave, it was so nice to have someone with me!!! :) She stayed for probably about 9 hours? In the evening, Steve and my mom brought the kids after dinner. So that was fun to see them all!! :) Kevin told me, "I miss you so much." He originally said that to me on the phone, and it was hard to keep from crying. He talked to a nurse and asked her about taking care of me and even said something about wanting me to come home and her making me better soon. :) He was very sweet and almost made me cry here in person too. The babies were just held, and Kien was very active! Steve put Aria on my lap, but she doesn't want to have anything to do with me yet, of course. :( She really doesn't know me at all. I know that that's the case and fully understand, but considering the circumstances, it was heartbreaking for me.

As for my pain (the reason I'm here), it did get better on Saturday. I had a PCA pump, where I could press a button to release medicine through an IV. (I really love having my port!!!) But I was rarely fully comfortable. And that would only happen while sitting on the bed. When I got up, my legs would immediately start aching, so I'd press the button and sit down again. But later in the day, Janet and I went for a couple walks for a very short distance down the hall (with the IV pole following us). Then in the evening, the doctors had me switched to a new type of pain medicine. And it seemed to work!! I was really concerned that the transition would be tough, but it wasn't!

Then I fell asleep for the night at 9pm!! AND... I slept until 8am Sunday morning!!!!!! I slept for 11 hours!!!!!! I haven't done that in MONTHS!!!! I normally sleep in 2 hour increments!! I NEVER sleept that well!!! Wow!!! Praise God!!!! :) :) People had to come in through the night to give me meds or do my vitals, etc. - but I'd just pop my head up or lift my arm out - and then go back to sleep. I even had a blood test, which I basically slept through - because they could just access it from my port (which was already accessed, so no needle was required!).

Then Steve came back late this morning. I was doing great! When I first got up, I was quite stiff and had some pain. And I couldn't get it under control for awhile with the PCA pump, although the pain wasn't as bad as it sometimes is. But after awhile, it settled down. Then the doctor came by, and I was doing great! So they asked me if I wanted to go ahead and remove the IV meds (morphine) to transition to pills. I knew that I needed to do this in order to go home -- and I want to go home Monday! So I said yes!! And it was a great choice!!! :) I NEVER had to ask for the pills as breakthrough pain medicine all day!!!!! :) :) :) I was almost pain free all day long!!! I could even do things that I couldn't do on Saturday -- such as sitting on the side of my bed, standing up, walking around, etc. And eventually, they removed the IV. So I could MOVE around!!! :) :) Steve and I took a walk down a couple hallways. I did great!! :) Then some friends came to visit and then the interim pastor at our church came to visit too. We had never officially met him before (he came this fall -- and needless to say, we've been busy!), so that was really nice of him to come. And right before dinner, my mom arrived with all 3 kids. She used valet parking, and Steve met her down at the car to help get them up here.

Suddenly, Kevin ran into the room to see me! :) And he was followed by a double stroller full of our 2 littlest blessings!!! :) :) I almost wanted to cry right then!!!! I spent so much time researching these crazy double strollers and waiting for the day that it would be occupied by our TWO babies. And finally, there they were!!!! :) :) I immediately asked for my mom's camera to take a picture!!!! :) They were bundled up like 2 little snowmen. ha! And their big brother was taking such good care of them, taking off their hoods, etc. He was soooo great with them here tonight!!! :) :) I'm very proud of him!! At the end of the evening, he was playing a peek game with them, and both babies were cracking up hysterically!! Yes, even Aria!!!! :) :) She's usually stone-faced, so this was very impressive!!!! :) :) The game always ended with Kevin hugging them both in the stroller, and even Aria loved it! She eventually hugged him, and Kevin exclaimed, "That was her first time to hug me!!" :) :)

We all ate dinner down in the cafeteria. And I walked there!!!!! :) :) While choosing food, I even pushed the double stroller!!! :) Steve fed the babies some fries while we were choosing food, and then I saw Aria grab Kien's fry!! HA! And she started doing it repeatedly!!! She's a little piggie, and Kien barely eats! So she would eat hers really fast - and then dive over for Kien's!! HA! It was hysterical. :) Kevin also helped feed them. He's so responsible and helpful! It was very cute and fun. :) And I got out of my room!!!! :) :) Yipppeeee!!

My mom stayed for a little bit after Steve left to take the kids home to bed. And now I'm finally on my computer! It's really the first time that I've felt up to doing this all weekend. But I'm off to bed soon and really hoping to be home tomorrow!!! However, I do have a dr's appt here at 2:30pm tomorrow. ugh. So I'm going to call in the morning to try to get that moved earlier, in hopes that we can get home earlier!! I want out of here!!!!! Unfortunately, it isn't as nice as the other hospital (no comparison, actually). Even the food is atrocious here. sigh. And my room is half the size as before.

Thanks so much for the prayers!!!! They're working!!!!!! This new medicine has really gotten me out of pain!!!!! :) :) I guess they want to monitor it for another day. But my prayer is that all will be well and I can leave tomorrow!!!! :) Please pray that I remain pain-free!!!! :) :)